How to Place Your Child Up For Adoption

 

There are times when things just go wrong.  And sometimes, though it pains you, you have to sacrifice something in order to keep things right.  It’s like when you give birth and find that it’s virtually impossible for you to be able to support a child.  No matter how much you want to keep your baby, you just can’t.  For your baby’s sake and for your own sake too, you decide to put the baby up for adoption.  It’ll be painful, yes.  But at least you’ll be giving your child a chance at a better life.

 

Before you decide…

 

One thing you should understand about adoption is that giving your child up for adoption means that you’re giving up all of your legal rights over your child.  It’s a hard decision to make for any mother out there.  Signing the papers and handing over your baby to the agency might just be the hardest thing you have to do.

 

Giving up your legal rights over your child means that you will be at the wrong side of the law if you disrupt the life of your child’s new family just so you could see your child.  It means watching from the sidelines, never acknowledging that you’re his mother.  When you see him accepting a medal for the honors he has received in school, you can be proud but you can’t tell him.  It means that you have to grin and bear it when you hear him call somebody else “Mom”.  You might even never see your baby again.  This can be very painful, especially after you have carried him in your womb for nine whole months.

 

However, if you really have no other choice and if there’s no chance for you or your parents to support the baby, then it probably is better to just put him up for adoption.  Just make sure that it’s your last resort.  You won’t want to regret your decision later.

 

Your options…

 

Once you’ve decided to put your child up for adoption, you have two choices.

 

One, you can keep holding on to your child until the agency finds a family willing to adopt your child.  Two, you can give your child to the agency, and let their people take care of the child for you while waiting for the child’s new family.

 

If you have a bit more money and can support your child while waiting for the new family, then you can be with your child for a little while more.  At least you can spend more time with your baby.  The danger here would be the risk of getting attached.  You’ll have to give him up as soon as the agency finds a new family.

 

The more time you spend with your baby, the more attached you will become.  And the more attached you become, the more difficult it will be to give him up when the time comes.

 

 

Changing your mind…

 

Okay, so you got too attached to him and changed your mind at the last minute.  It’s not uncommon.  Sometimes, the full gravity of the situation doesn’t hit you until the last minute.  So, despite your previous decision, you decide to throw caution to the wind and keep your baby no matter what it takes, even if you have to scrub the streets of New York with a toothbrush.

 

Unfortunately, in situations like this one, you can’t be fickle.  Changing your mind is all well and good if you’re the only one involved.  There are times, however, when it’s just too late to back out of the deal.  If the agency has not yet been able to find a family for your child, then it would be easy.  You probably won’t encounter much resistance if you decide to take your child back.  However, if the agency has already found a new family and if the new family’s really eager to have the baby, then you have a problem.  In some cases, the court would decide who gets the baby, you or the new family.  It would be even harder if you already signed the papers.

 

The lesson:  before putting your child up for adoption, you have to be very sure of your decision.  Adoption is a serious matter.  It’s also a painful thing… but it really might just be for the best.

Tags: Adoption General Information, adoption orphans, orphanages, orphans