In the UK, this week is Adoption Week. The one time of the year when all the Organisations and Charities involved in all the aspects of Adoption get together to try and help raise the awareness of what Adoption is really all about.

Now in theory this is all ?fine and dandy? (to coin a phrase) but as with all things (Adoption is no different) there are Winners and there are losers.

Now it may be a crime of immense political incorrectness to look at this way but there really isn?t any other truthful way of looking at it.

It is called the ?Adoption Triangle?, the Holy Trinity of Adoption, The three sided equation but in reality there is more.

On the surface of it there is just the Birth Mother, the adopted child and the Adoptive Parents but would that it was that simple. In reality the adoption triangle involves two families in total. On the Birth Families side you have the Birth Parents (everyone tends to forget about the Father), the adopted child?s siblings (that?s brothers and sisters to you and me) and their Grandparents, Uncles & Aunts etc.

On the adoptive families side there are an equally large number of involved personnel (albeit to a different degree) and these all will have in truth some impact though none fall into consideration when the Adoption is processed.

It sounds cold and clinical to talk of Adoption as a procedure, but that it is what it is. In an attempt to heighten and increase the awareness of Adoption, Organisations involved tend to couch their terms in warm comfortable phraseology that tends to wash over the fact that for every ?warm cuddly adoptive family? waiting to welcome into their arms ?the child of their dreams? their will be sometimes be a Birth Mother who is going to be forever separated from her child.

Now in a great many cases, this entire process is for the better but in the past the separation of birth mother and child has quite often been a forced and painful one and there are very few Birth Mothers in existence today who haven?t thought regularly of the child they had and what could, possibly might have been.

People forget that the role of being a Birth Mother isn?t always filled by the Alcoholic drug ridden typecast incapable young girl, the image so lovingly played upon by some Adoption organisations. Quite often the conception and actual birth of a child is a complete social disaster for a number of reasons some of which lie beyond the control of the birth mother herself. The adoption is a traumatic experience that will leave scars of guilt forever etched in the psyche of the birth mother herself.

It is said that time is great healer but there are some scars and experiences that even time cannot heal.

Tags: Adoption Announcement, adoption costs

 

In the early hours of Dec 26th 2004 the Western world awoke to the unfolding horror that we came to know as the Asian Tsunami. Those of us still recovering from obscenely large amounts of food and drink from the previous day sat transfixed as we watched a horror story of biblical proportions unfold before our very eyes.

The United Nations estimated that the Asian Tsunami left more than five million people homeless, including about 1.5 million children most of whom became orphaned. The outpouring of emotion from around the world was of mixed benefit as far as the region was concerned in that yes we all dug deep into our pockets and yes we all lobbied our Politicians to something about it and yes bizarrely this tragedy may have had some knock on effect in the movement to alleviate Third World debt and poverty but the blessings were mixed as far as the people on the ground were concerned.

Since the disaster, adoption agencies around the world have been fielding phone calls from well-meaning families wanting to adopt a child from one of the countries hit.

Adoption experts say the best thing people can do is to donate money to causes that directly help the children. They say it's wrong to take a traumatized child away from the environment that they have grown up in. "Adoptions, especially inter-country ones, are inappropriate during the emergency phase as children are better placed being cared for by their wider families and the communities they know," said the charity Save the Children in a statement released Jan. 6, 2005. International Adoption needs to be well planned "The last thing they need to do is be rushed away to some foreign land," said Cory Barron of Children's Hope International, an American adoption agency. "We have to think of the child first."

Adoption by some well meaning couple in the west flying half way round the world bearing large sums of money to whisk the child away to a life totally alien to everything it has known isn't always what is in the best interests of the child.

It is worth bearing in mind the following facts after any tragedy like this:

* Children will be experiencing an immense sense of loss and grief. * They will need to know what they feel is normal and that they're not going crazy. * They need to be with people they know and to feel as safe as possible. * They need to establish a daily routine as soon as possible to reduce their fears. * They should play with other children to have time away from their fears and allowed to have creative expression such as materials to draw. * Those separated from family members need to be registered as soon as possible and reunified quickly. * Putting children in a temporary care facility or an orphanage should be the last resort.

Around 200 children were orphaned and many more lost one parent when the Tsunami struck the district of Nagappattinam in Tamil Nadu state, the worst-affected region in India.

The local administration has handled scores of queries from individuals and organisations wanting to adopt the children.

But fears of human trafficking have made the government tread with caution. The emphasis now is on rehabilitating these children in the local communities. Suryakala, a district social welfare officer in Nagappattinam, says many children they talked to preferred to remain here rather than move out of the area.

The local administration has asked those interested in adoption to send in applications. But they are in no hurry to move these children out.

Around 60 children have been put up in an orphanage run by the Zion Church in Nagappattinam.

Parvathi lost her parents but has returned to the school to take her examinations. She visits her relatives once a month and says she prefers to stay in Nagappattinam.

Local charities and social activists have lobbied hard with the government not to "give away" these children for adoption. Aftab, a young activist, says he learned a lot from the aftermath of the Gujarat earthquake in 2000. He says that in the past two months there have been several instances of representatives of organisations trying to "forcibly" take away orphans. Nagappattinam was one of India's worst-hit areas" The local community objected and expressed its willingness to take care of such children," says Aftab. "None of these children want to be moved out," he says. The local administration, Aftab says, is still not clear about what it wants to do with them.

He has met representatives of different villages who back the idea not to move them out.

"Why should these children be sent to orphanages and homes far from here?" he asks.

Efforts by individuals like Aftab seem to have had an impact.

The local administrator's office has decided against any hasty decision.

One official summed up the dilemma faced by the government: "The issue of children is a delicate matter in any community… one wrong step and we will invite the wrath of the people."

Adoption experts are hoping the outpouring of interest in adoptions from the tsunami disaster might translate into adoptions elsewhere. The real tragedy is that the tsunami doesn't even dent the numbers of orphans worldwide, the real numbers are unfathomable. Most adoption specialists say the number of orphans globally may be somewhere in the range of 40 to 60 million–13 million in sub-Saharan Africa alone due to the AIDS crisis there, and many more in Russia, China and Latin America. Only a fraction of those children are in official adoption pools.

"We are hopeful that the tsunami-affected countries will eventually have an open mind to international adoption," says Thomas Atwood, President of the US National Council for Adoption. "But we're also hopeful that parents will look to adopt children in other parts of the world. There are thousands of children available for adoption right now. For those whose hearts have been tugged by the tsunami, perhaps this is a step in their journey towards another child."

So perhaps even after the darkest and most terrible of tragedies there can be some positive long term benefits and these are that whilst a large number of people may ignore the need or desire to adopt from within their own communities in favour of adoption with an International dimension this raising of the Adoption Profile and the inherent potential problems may well bring some of those new to Adoption back to considering Adoption from within their communities. The other benefit that can be taken from this whole affair may be the overall increase in the awareness of the concept of Adoption itself. If this in turn leads to more children being partnered with Adoptive Families then that can only be considered good.

Stephen Morgan is the principal advisor for International Adoption Information, an independent advisory organisation in social and child welfare. http://www.internationaladoptioninformation.com, http://www.internationaladoptionusa.info. and http://www.internationaladoptionresourcecentre.com

About the Author

Stephen is the principal advisor for International Adoption Information, an independent advisory organisation in social and child welfare. http://www.internationaladoptioninformation.com

Tags: adoption agency, Adoption by Country, Adoption General Information, international adoption, Orphans and Orphanages

In the world of International Adoption, Guatemala is one of the most popular and least regulated Countries. Last year there were estimated to have been 1,500 Guatemalan Children and Babies who have started fresh lives abroad, but the spectre of Illegal Adoptions have haunted Guatemala for years. Stories have emerged of mothers being forced to give up their new born children and of a booming private adoption business that has now grown almost into a multi million pound industry.

One of the key questions to look into is, are illegal adoptions taking place and if so how widespread is the practice? Finally, what is in the best interests of the Children of Guatemala? "With Overseas adoption, what is in the best interests of the children of Guatemala?"

Whilst organisations, such as UNICEF, do not claim that all of the overseas adoptions coming out of Guatemala are illegal or abusive, a new report issued from the organisation does highlight the increasing problem of child trafficking.

"Overseas adoption arose directly out of Guatemala?s harrowing history."

Overseas Adoptions and International adoption arose directly out of Guatemala?s harrowing history. The 36 year civil war ? which ended officially only four years ago ? left nearly a quarter of a million dead or disappeared and one million homeless, half of them children.

Elizabeth Gibbons is the director of UNICEF, and a leading critic of adoption as practised in Guatemala:

?Many, many orphaned children were taken into adoption by military officers ? sent into international adoption. Originally a humanitarian activity, but it became obvious that it had the potential for being a lucrative business. And the higher demand in the West ? the more birth control, more access to abortion ? so you have the problem of a huge demand, therefore a supply must be created.?

In recent years there has been a tightening up of controls in many of the major embassies and the UK, US and Canadian embassies now carry out DNA tests of both the birth mother and the baby to check out that the woman giving the baby up for adoption is the real birth mother.

?The existence of DNA doesn?t in any way tell you whether the mother is willingly giving up the child or whether she is being coerced. The second concern is that the children who pass the DNA test are not the same ones who go with the adopting parents on the plane, they could be switched. And thirdly, that the child who is rejected for having a negative DNA result by one of three embassies that offer this test, can then be offered to another embassy with parents of a another nationality.?

'No one respects the law or the state; everybody just does their own thing. And it?s the same with adoptions'

So with all of this abuse of the system going on, why hasn?t the government of Guatemala done anything to stop it. The general consensus is that Guatemala is in chaos with the country, now a fledgling democracy, only just emerging from under the shadows of years of Military rule

Guatemala is a difficult place from which to operate from and it is very hard to know who is in charge of what. There doesn?t appear to be a Minister in charge of Social Affairs and Adoption is very much bottom rung on the ladder.

The Chair of the Commission on the Child and the Family in the Guatemalan Parliament is Nineth Montenegro who is a vigorous critic of her own system and is campaigning to pass the ?The Children?s Code? to protect the rights of the Child in Guatemala explains:

?We?ve been working on it for three years now and parliament still hasn?t passed it. They say, if we try to regulate adoption in this way we will deny children better opportunities in wealthier countries. There has been terrible resistance to the new law. You know Guatemala is a democracy only in name, not a real democracy.

No one respects the law or the state; everybody just does their own thing. And it?s the same with adoptions.?

Part Two of this article will deal with the fun and games (euphemism for hassle) of dealing with Lawyers and Orphanages

Tags: Adoption by Country, guatemala adoption, international adoption

 

Today most Scientists & Adoption Agents are of the opinion that parents should inform their adopted children as soon as possible about their status. The issue should thereafter be discussed more often at various points in time to give the child/children a chance to grasp their special status and the opportunity to ask questions. Only an early introduction to the subject will give parents and children a chance to develop an open and trusting relationship between each other.

 

There are two sides to the process of informing a child about it's adoptive status: First of all the information has to be passed on to the child and secondly the child has to understand the information it has been given.

It is more than likely that a 4 year old child can be made to refer to itself as "adopted" and further tell that it has grown in another woman's womb before being adopted by it's present parents. This however does not go to say that the child has understood what an adoption really means. More so it has to be assumed that due to the child's use of very specific vocabulary related to the issue of adoption the parents are lured into the false belief that their child fully understands the concept of adoption. By doing so, the cognitive capability of a small child is highly overestimated. It takes approximately 10 years for an adopted child to fully grasp the information about its adoption which they have been given at the age of 3 or 4. This knowledge was the result of the scientific research by BRODZINSKY and his colleagues during the "Rutgers Adoption Project" (1986). The scientists examined 100 adopted children in comparison to 100 non-adopted children. There were 20 children in each age group: 4-5 years old, 6-7 years old, 8-9 years old, 10-11 years old and 12-13 years old. All adoptive children were adopted within the first 2 ? years of their life. Their understanding of the adoption was evaluated on the basis of a 6 grade chart.

 

Although the 4-5 year old children had all been informed about their adoption most of them did not have any understanding of the meaning of an adoption (grade 0). At an average age of 5 years and 6 months most examined children either assumed that all children in general were born to their biological parents or that adoption and giving birth are the same (grade 1). At the age of 7 years and 2 months children could distinguish between adoption and birth. They viewed it as 2 different means of becoming a part of a family. The relationship between the adoptive parents and the child was described by the children to be a permanent one. However they could not articulate a reason for the permanence of this relationship other than voicing the assumption that "The child is now owned by its adoptive parents" (grade 2).

 

At an average age of 8 years and 8 months the children were not so confident about the stability of the Parent-Child Relationship anymore. They believed that their biological parents would either claim them back one day or that their adoptive parents could also decide to give them away at some point in time (grade 3). At 10 years and 4 months of age the children were confident in the lastingness of the relationship between adoptive parents and child again. With regards to this newly found confidence they even referred to professionals in a position of authority such as Judges, Lawyers & Medical Doctors (grade 4). It was not until the average age of 12 years and 5 months that the adopted children understood that an adoption on a legal basis of specific laws incorporated the transfer of parental rights and duties from the biological parents to the adoptive parents (Grade 5).

The adopted children were aware of an Adoption Agency being involved in their adoption at an average age of 8 years and 1 month but did not know the actual task of the Agency. Approximately 10 months later they understood that this organisation plays a vital role in the process. In most cases the first assumption was that the Agency's purpose was to cater to the wishes of the future adoptive parents. Once at an average age of 11 years and 11 months the adoptive children understood that the Agency first and foremost acts on behalf and in the interest of the well being of the children put up for adoption, therefore screening the potential adoptive parents.

 

Brodzinsky and his colleagues research clearly shows that the understanding of an adoptive child with reference to its adoption develops in predictable phases. In the beginning the knowledge is still very general and slightly diffuse but becomes more sophisticated with time. This knowledge is also associated with a growing awareness of the connection with social organisations and the relating laws.

 

The research indicates how difficult it must be for a child under the age of 13 or 14 to process the fact of having a dual set of parents. Younger children don't grasp this concept at all, slightly older children find it hard to fit the characteristics of adoptive parents into their idea of a family concept. Eight and nine year olds know that parents and children are blood related. Adoptive children of this particular age group therefore question which family they are really part of - their biological parents or their adoptive parents. Bearing in mind that children of this age group (8-9 year olds) have not yet understood the concept of adoption including all its implications it is not surprising that they feel insecure of their position within the adoptive family and voice a lot of questions regarding their heritage. During a further examination of 156 adopted children aged 6-11 years old Brodzinsky and his colleagues (1986) found out that a child's comprehension of its adoption is neither influenced by structure of the adoptive family (only child, biological siblings, adopted siblings), their social status, the previous history of the child nor its age or condition of health at the time of adoption. This means that the comprehension develops through an intra psychological process by combining the newly received information with other relevant knowledge of family structure, social institutions, human motives, separation, loss, - etc. This Process is therefore imbedded in the overall cognitive development of the child.

 

The results of this research clearly show that parents and adoption agents generally expect the adoptive children to understand the process of an adoption too early. In return they are surprised when primary school children ask a lot of questions regarding their biological parents and their heritage, the reasons for being put up for adoption as well as being insecure in terms of their adoptive parents love and sometimes show signs of sadness and depression. Parents and experts do not understand these behavioural patterns and often wrongly judge it as negative although it is quite normal, age appropriate and probably inevitable. It is a sign that the children are trying to achieve a better understanding of the adoption. In order to do so they have to process the loss of their biological parents and the resulting emotions (sadness) at this age. This is being complicated by the lack of knowledge about their biological parents.

Consequently it is vital that adoptive parents make themselves aware of the fact that adopted children will comprehend the adoption with all its implications not until they have entered their second decade of life. They (adoptive parents ) can help the child to achieve a positive and extensive comprehension of the adoption by openly and honestly discussing the issue instead of avoiding it. It is equally important that they are also aware of the difference between adoptive families and biological families further understanding the special status of their own family. Primarily they should not overstrain the child and confront it with unrealistic expectations but should give the child the time it needs for the long lasting cognitive development process which will conclude in a full comprehension of the adoption.

About the Author

Jeff Conrad himself was a adopted child.
He wants to give you the best and most comprehensive information about adopting children from all over the world.
www.international-adoption-site.info

Tags: adoption agency, Adoption General Information

When making the decision to adopt an infant an adopting couple will come across a number of agencies willing to help them in their cause. Some adoption agencies deal only with International adoption, others only domestic and there are those that will work with all forms of adoption. Choosing the correct adoption agency for your situation is critical to a successful and speedy adoption process.

The scenarios that could affect whether an adoption ends successfully or with heartbreak are endless. It is key, when contacting and visiting adoption agencies, to ask important questions in order to logically select the right company to work with.

What are the costs?

Although, not important in the scheme of the emotions surrounding the adoption of an infant, different families have different resources and some agencies have different fees for different situations. The one caveat to be ware of is hidden fees; some adoption agencies tack on at the end or during the process of adoption.

Ask up front a detailed list of every possible fee the agency might charge or will charge. This way you are aware of what the final agency bill might be, or what adoption options you may want to or not want to choose. Also, obtain information from the agency representative as to when certain fees are expected to be paid. During the process of the adoption, many agencies expect funds at certain stages of the procedure.

It is also important to inquire about refunds. Some adoption agencies have a no refund policy; others will refund monies depending on what stage the adoption is at and others refund most or all of the costs paid.

What is their experience?

The number of adoptions they perform will also prove to be critical to the success of the adoption process. If the adoption agency handles a mind boggling number of adoptions each year they may not be able to provide the quality of support and service one would expect from an agency. Of course, if this is the case and they employ an equally high number of competent associates.

On the flip side of over extending themselves, some adoption agencies do not perform enough adoptions per annum to accrue the kind of experience needed to be able to offer the proper advisement when out of the ordinary circumstances occur. It should be realized, however, that some agencies pride themselves on the fact that even if they do not perform large numbers of adoptions, they provide a higher quality of support.

When discussing the experience of a particular agency, ask for references. Even though privacy is a major concern with most adoptions, there will be a handful of people willing to discuss their experiences with the agency.

What is the average wait time?

For most parents looking to adopt an infant, this is the most important question to ask. Adoptive parents have already made the decision to adopt and sometimes the wait can seem like the most difficult aspect of the entire process.

Most adoption agencies will have this information directly in hand and often take pride in the fact that their wait times are shorter than those of other agencies. However, simply because an agency purports a short waiting period does not mean they are the best adoption agency to deal with.

It is important to not solely base the decision of what adoption agency to choose simply because their wait period is shorter than their competitors. Take into account what steps and procedures each uses, it could be the one agency has a shorter wait time than another because they skip over valuable aspects of the adoption process.

Tags: adoption agency, Adoption Announcement, adoption costs