In the UK, this week is Adoption Week. The one time of the year when all the Organisations and Charities involved in all the aspects of Adoption get together to try and help raise the awareness of what Adoption is really all about.

Now in theory this is all ?fine and dandy? (to coin a phrase) but as with all things (Adoption is no different) there are Winners and there are losers.

Now it may be a crime of immense political incorrectness to look at this way but there really isn?t any other truthful way of looking at it.

It is called the ?Adoption Triangle?, the Holy Trinity of Adoption, The three sided equation but in reality there is more.

On the surface of it there is just the Birth Mother, the adopted child and the Adoptive Parents but would that it was that simple. In reality the adoption triangle involves two families in total. On the Birth Families side you have the Birth Parents (everyone tends to forget about the Father), the adopted child?s siblings (that?s brothers and sisters to you and me) and their Grandparents, Uncles & Aunts etc.

On the adoptive families side there are an equally large number of involved personnel (albeit to a different degree) and these all will have in truth some impact though none fall into consideration when the Adoption is processed.

It sounds cold and clinical to talk of Adoption as a procedure, but that it is what it is. In an attempt to heighten and increase the awareness of Adoption, Organisations involved tend to couch their terms in warm comfortable phraseology that tends to wash over the fact that for every ?warm cuddly adoptive family? waiting to welcome into their arms ?the child of their dreams? their will be sometimes be a Birth Mother who is going to be forever separated from her child.

Now in a great many cases, this entire process is for the better but in the past the separation of birth mother and child has quite often been a forced and painful one and there are very few Birth Mothers in existence today who haven?t thought regularly of the child they had and what could, possibly might have been.

People forget that the role of being a Birth Mother isn?t always filled by the Alcoholic drug ridden typecast incapable young girl, the image so lovingly played upon by some Adoption organisations. Quite often the conception and actual birth of a child is a complete social disaster for a number of reasons some of which lie beyond the control of the birth mother herself. The adoption is a traumatic experience that will leave scars of guilt forever etched in the psyche of the birth mother herself.

It is said that time is great healer but there are some scars and experiences that even time cannot heal.

Tags: Adoption Announcement, adoption costs

When making the decision to adopt an infant an adopting couple will come across a number of agencies willing to help them in their cause. Some adoption agencies deal only with International adoption, others only domestic and there are those that will work with all forms of adoption. Choosing the correct adoption agency for your situation is critical to a successful and speedy adoption process.

The scenarios that could affect whether an adoption ends successfully or with heartbreak are endless. It is key, when contacting and visiting adoption agencies, to ask important questions in order to logically select the right company to work with.

What are the costs?

Although, not important in the scheme of the emotions surrounding the adoption of an infant, different families have different resources and some agencies have different fees for different situations. The one caveat to be ware of is hidden fees; some adoption agencies tack on at the end or during the process of adoption.

Ask up front a detailed list of every possible fee the agency might charge or will charge. This way you are aware of what the final agency bill might be, or what adoption options you may want to or not want to choose. Also, obtain information from the agency representative as to when certain fees are expected to be paid. During the process of the adoption, many agencies expect funds at certain stages of the procedure.

It is also important to inquire about refunds. Some adoption agencies have a no refund policy; others will refund monies depending on what stage the adoption is at and others refund most or all of the costs paid.

What is their experience?

The number of adoptions they perform will also prove to be critical to the success of the adoption process. If the adoption agency handles a mind boggling number of adoptions each year they may not be able to provide the quality of support and service one would expect from an agency. Of course, if this is the case and they employ an equally high number of competent associates.

On the flip side of over extending themselves, some adoption agencies do not perform enough adoptions per annum to accrue the kind of experience needed to be able to offer the proper advisement when out of the ordinary circumstances occur. It should be realized, however, that some agencies pride themselves on the fact that even if they do not perform large numbers of adoptions, they provide a higher quality of support.

When discussing the experience of a particular agency, ask for references. Even though privacy is a major concern with most adoptions, there will be a handful of people willing to discuss their experiences with the agency.

What is the average wait time?

For most parents looking to adopt an infant, this is the most important question to ask. Adoptive parents have already made the decision to adopt and sometimes the wait can seem like the most difficult aspect of the entire process.

Most adoption agencies will have this information directly in hand and often take pride in the fact that their wait times are shorter than those of other agencies. However, simply because an agency purports a short waiting period does not mean they are the best adoption agency to deal with.

It is important to not solely base the decision of what adoption agency to choose simply because their wait period is shorter than their competitors. Take into account what steps and procedures each uses, it could be the one agency has a shorter wait time than another because they skip over valuable aspects of the adoption process.

Tags: adoption agency, Adoption Announcement, adoption costs

The adoption triad consists of the children who are adopted, birth mothers and fathers and adoptive parents. Even if these three groups never meet together, their lives are bound to one another through adoption. The children are connected to both sets of parents, and the birth parents and adoptive parents are connected to each other through the children. There are joys and sorrows for everyone joined to adoption. Birth parents may miss the child they created, but may also be comforted that the child is being well cared for and loved in her new home. Adoptive parents may be concerned that the child will feel the loss of her biological parents but may be happy to love, care and raise the child. The child may wonder about her biological parents but may cherish and love her adoptive parents. These thoughts and feelings are complicated, complex and lifelong, and are dealt with more easily by some people while others may struggle with them. Each adoption is unique and so is the adjustment to it. But, with love and support, most adoptions are successful at creating loving and stable environments in which children blossom.

Not all adoptions are successful and some people are opposed to adoption, but those who support adoption recognize it as a way to provide children with a safe, stable, and loving home environment. If you are considering adoption, you probably already know some of the challenges. Our society sends mixed messages about adoption. On one hand, you have probably seen or heard public service announcements that talk about how precious adoption can be; what a difference you can make in a child's life. On the other hand, you will see movies or news stories where an adopted child has been in trouble or an adoption was done illegally. Of course, this happens. But, biological children also do horrible things and biological parents sometimes do horrible things to their children. Your decision to adopt should be about your family. Do you want to parent a child and are you willing and able to face the challenges that being an adoptive parent may bring?

These are a couple of very difficult questions that must be answered prior to beginning the adoption process. With the possibility of becoming adoptive parents, there is a responsibility of the highest commitment owed the potential adpoted children. It is critical that you do extensive research on the adoption process, so you can determine if it is truly an experience you can manage. The children must not be given false hope. At this point in their lives, they need and deserve nothing less than complete and reassuring love.

One of the main questions that adoptive parents must ask themselves is can they love a child not born to them? If you read stories and books by adoptive parents, you will find that the majority come to see themselves connected to their adopted children in ways not understood by people who think that a genetic link to their children is the essential tie. Years ago, Cybthia McFadden interviewed Barbara Walters and her adopted daughter about this very issue. Barbara Walters and her daughter were so loving and demonstrated so strongly the power of love as the key to successful parenting. The Lifetime Network had a show called Adoption Stories that profiled families' journeys through adoption. Watching these parents struggle through the adoption process and then watching these parents with their children, you could not help but be inspired. And, these families clearly loved and were loved by their adopted children.These families showed that parenting is a choice and they could easily love a child not born to them. While it might not be for everybody, for most people it is just another way to make a family.

Asking yourself these tough questions is important. For some people, the answers come easily. If you are one of those who know, you can meet a child's need for a family openly and you can help that child as he grows ( and support him if he has questions or struggles about his adoption), your next step is to find an adoption agency that can work with you to help you in this amazing journey.

Tags: Adoption Announcement, Adoption General Information

 

If you are contemplating adopting a child, you probably already know that this is one of the most important actions you'll ever take in your life. People chose to adopt a child for many reasons. Most commonly, a couple may be experiencing some kind of fertility problems, which make it difficult for them to conceive a child on their own. Some people want to provide a loving home for children that have been removed from their home, family or even their native country.

These are all commendable reasons to proceed with the adoption, but you still need to be aware of some of the decisions and the alternatives you will be required to make throughout the application process.

If you live in the United States you must first decide whether to adopt from within the country or from another nation altogether. Different laws apply to both situations and you will have to study them. In the case of international adoption, US Immigration laws will come into play. It is critical that you know what laws apply in your situation.

Another important factor is what agency, if any, you would like to assist you in the adoption process. There are private agencies and public agencies. If you are adopting internationally you may want to contact an aid organization. Private adoptions are also possible, but again, you need to check carefully into laws before you go ahead.

Age is a big consideration when it comes to children. Since most people want to adopt babies, it may take a long time before one is available to you. The advantages of a baby in most people's minds is that they can instill their morals and values from the very beginning. By the same token if you adopt an older child, it can soon seem as if you had always been together. There is a lot of anecdotal evidence supporting this position. If you decide on an older child, remember that he or she has already formed a personality and behaviors. If you take the child home and then decide it won't work after all, you can cause a great deal of harm to the child's self- esteem.

Adoption is a wonderful choice for people who are biologically unable to have children, or for those who want to invite another child into their family. Be sure to know the laws in your area surrounding adoption, this will help you to quickly find the little person that will become your son or daughter.

About the Author

Susan Kennedy is the chief editor for Adoptions Network, the web's premier resource for information about Adoption, For more articles on Adoption visit: http://www.adoptionsnet.com/articlesYou can get a unique content version of this article.

Tags: Adoption by Country, Adoption by State, adoption costs

In the 1950's single mothers had few options if they became pregnant. Often, they were whisked away to homes where they were forced to sign their babies away never knowing who the parents were or given time to see their babies. This causes a surge of adopted children to come back years later looking for their birth mothers or insisting on their rights to their medical and genetic history. There are still many out there searching, trying to find their roots and have some sense of identity of where they came from and who they are.

Open adoption seeks to limit those issues that closed adoption caused by allowing the birth mother to meet and interact with the prospective adoptive parents before and after the birth. Some families are committed to keeping the birth mother involved, in which case, the open adoption becomes a new family arrangement that seeks to put the needs of the child first.

Open Adoption Families Although open adoption only means that the birth mother and the adoptive parents exchange information on themselves, it can lead to other arrangements where the birth mother is more involved. It is understood, however, that the birth mother has relinquished all parental and legal rights to the adoptive family. Thus, the fear that a birth mother will try to reclaim a child is minimal. Some families like to invite the birth mother to special occasions like Christenings. Others even have the relatives of the child visit with the birth mother. It all is a personal choice and is not required in open adoptions.

Open adoption can provide the following advantages to closed adoptions, although each situation is different:

 

1. Children can ask a birth mother directly why they were put up for adoption.
2. The adoptive parents and children can have access to medical records and genetic information that allows them to keep good health records.
3. Birth mothers have the option to participate in the adoption planning, even getting to choose who the adoptive parents will be.
4. The birth mother can be assured she has made a good decision placing her child up for adoption.
5. The adoptive parents can be screened to meet legal requirements.
6. The birth mother can receive assistance from the adoptive parents before and after the baby is born.
7. The birth mother can request information or on-going contact in the form of letters, pictures of her child, and/or phone calls.
8. The child can meet birth relatives too and thus establish a larger support system wider than their adoptive family.
9. The child knows where they came from and can even be exposed to their heritage and culture through the birth parents.
10. It allows the child to be able to process losses associated with adoption without making it a lifelong quest for truth.

 

A History Of Open Adoption

Open adoption was prevalent in the 1920's with social agencies not being involved too much. This led to fears that birth parents were advertising their children and placing them in unsuitable homes or selling them outright. The laws for closed adoptions and agency interventions didn't come around until the 1940's and 1950's. Many years later, the fallout from closed adoptions became apparent with many adopted children seeking their birth parents or their genetic and medical history.

Lawyers actually started the movement back to open adoptions by providing an independent agency that would make sure the laws were followed in adoption proceedings and speeding up the adoption process. In many of these cases because it was done in a lawyer's office the parents and birth mother did get to know each other. But, they had high failure rates because of the emotional and social issues of adoption.

By then, the social standards had softened and single mothers no longer were thought of as a shameful secret. Many began keeping their children and fewer children actually were released for adoption. This caused agencies to change so as to meet the concern by mothers that their children were being placed in good homes and would be treated well. If they did not change, fewer adoptions were processed. So, open adoption is becoming more and more the norm. It is a good way to ease the losses of the child, the birth parent, and the infertile adoptive parents and can provide benefits for all.

Tags: adoption agency, Adoption Announcement, Adoption General Information