The adoption triad consists of the children who are adopted, birth mothers and fathers and adoptive parents. Even if these three groups never meet together, their lives are bound to one another through adoption. The children are connected to both sets of parents, and the birth parents and adoptive parents are connected to each other through the children. There are joys and sorrows for everyone joined to adoption. Birth parents may miss the child they created, but may also be comforted that the child is being well cared for and loved in her new home. Adoptive parents may be concerned that the child will feel the loss of her biological parents but may be happy to love, care and raise the child. The child may wonder about her biological parents but may cherish and love her adoptive parents. These thoughts and feelings are complicated, complex and lifelong, and are dealt with more easily by some people while others may struggle with them. Each adoption is unique and so is the adjustment to it. But, with love and support, most adoptions are successful at creating loving and stable environments in which children blossom.

Not all adoptions are successful and some people are opposed to adoption, but those who support adoption recognize it as a way to provide children with a safe, stable, and loving home environment. If you are considering adoption, you probably already know some of the challenges. Our society sends mixed messages about adoption. On one hand, you have probably seen or heard public service announcements that talk about how precious adoption can be; what a difference you can make in a child's life. On the other hand, you will see movies or news stories where an adopted child has been in trouble or an adoption was done illegally. Of course, this happens. But, biological children also do horrible things and biological parents sometimes do horrible things to their children. Your decision to adopt should be about your family. Do you want to parent a child and are you willing and able to face the challenges that being an adoptive parent may bring?

These are a couple of very difficult questions that must be answered prior to beginning the adoption process. With the possibility of becoming adoptive parents, there is a responsibility of the highest commitment owed the potential adpoted children. It is critical that you do extensive research on the adoption process, so you can determine if it is truly an experience you can manage. The children must not be given false hope. At this point in their lives, they need and deserve nothing less than complete and reassuring love.

One of the main questions that adoptive parents must ask themselves is can they love a child not born to them? If you read stories and books by adoptive parents, you will find that the majority come to see themselves connected to their adopted children in ways not understood by people who think that a genetic link to their children is the essential tie. Years ago, Cybthia McFadden interviewed Barbara Walters and her adopted daughter about this very issue. Barbara Walters and her daughter were so loving and demonstrated so strongly the power of love as the key to successful parenting. The Lifetime Network had a show called Adoption Stories that profiled families' journeys through adoption. Watching these parents struggle through the adoption process and then watching these parents with their children, you could not help but be inspired. And, these families clearly loved and were loved by their adopted children.These families showed that parenting is a choice and they could easily love a child not born to them. While it might not be for everybody, for most people it is just another way to make a family.

Asking yourself these tough questions is important. For some people, the answers come easily. If you are one of those who know, you can meet a child's need for a family openly and you can help that child as he grows ( and support him if he has questions or struggles about his adoption), your next step is to find an adoption agency that can work with you to help you in this amazing journey.

Tags: Adoption Announcement, Adoption General Information

Today most Scientists & Adoption Agents are of the opinion that parents should inform their adopted children as soon as possible about their status. The issue should thereafter be discussed more often at various points in time to give the child/children a chance to grasp their special status and the opportunity to ask questions. Only an early introduction to the subject will give parents and children a chance to develop an open and trusting relationship between each other.

There are two sides to the process of informing a child about it's adoptive status: First of all the information has to be passed on to the child and secondly the child has to understand the information it has been given.

It is more than likely that a 4 year old child can be made to refer to itself as "adopted" and further tell that it has grown in another woman's womb before being adopted by it's present parents. This however does not go to say that the child has understood what an adoption really means. More so it has to be assumed that due to the child's use of very specific vocabulary related to the issue of adoption the parents are lured into the false belief that their child fully understands the concept of adoption. By doing so, the cognitive capability of a small child is highly overestimated. It takes approximately 10 years for an adopted child to fully grasp the information about its adoption which they have been given at the age of 3 or 4. This knowledge was the result of the scientific research by BRODZINSKY and his colleagues during the "Rutgers Adoption Project" (1986). The scientists examined 100 adopted children in comparison to 100 non-adopted children. There were 20 children in each age group: 4-5 years old, 6-7 years old, 8-9 years old, 10-11 years old and 12-13 years old. All adoptive children were adopted within the first 2 ? years of their life. Their understanding of the adoption was evaluated on the basis of a 6 grade chart.

Although the 4-5 year old children had all been informed about their adoption most of them did not have any understanding of the meaning of an adoption (grade 0). At an average age of 5 years and 6 months most examined children either assumed that all children in general were born to their biological parents or that adoption and giving birth are the same (grade 1). At the age of 7 years and 2 months children could distinguish between adoption and birth. They viewed it as 2 different means of becoming a part of a family. The relationship between the adoptive parents and the child was described by the children to be a permanent one. However they could not articulate a reason for the permanence of this relationship other than voicing the assumption that "The child is now owned by its adoptive parents" (grade 2).

At an average age of 8 years and 8 months the children were not so confident about the stability of the Parent-Child Relationship anymore. They believed that their biological parents would either claim them back one day or that their adoptive parents could also decide to give them away at some point in time (grade 3). At 10 years and 4 months of age the children were confident in the lastingness of the relationship between adoptive parents and child again. With regards to this newly found confidence they even referred to professionals in a position of authority such as Judges, Lawyers & Medical Doctors (grade 4). It was not until the average age of 12 years and 5 months that the adopted children understood that an adoption on a legal basis of specific laws incorporated the transfer of parental rights and duties from the biological parents to the adoptive parents (Grade 5).

The adopted children were aware of an Adoption Agency being involved in their adoption at an average age of 8 years and 1 month but did not know the actual task of the Agency. Approximately 10 months later they understood that this organisation plays a vital role in the process. In most cases the first assumption was that the Agency's purpose was to cater to the wishes of the future adoptive parents. Once at an average age of 11 years and 11 months the adoptive children understood that the Agency first and foremost acts on behalf and in the interest of the well being of the children put up for adoption, therefore screening the potential adoptive parents.

Brodzinsky and his colleagues research clearly shows that the understanding of an adoptive child with reference to its adoption develops in predictable phases. In the beginning the knowledge is still very general and slightly diffuse but becomes more sophisticated with time. This knowledge is also associated with a growing awareness of the connection with social organisations and the relating laws.

The research indicates how difficult it must be for a child under the age of 13 or 14 to process the fact of having a dual set of parents. Younger children don't grasp this concept at all, slightly older children find it hard to fit the characteristics of adoptive parents into their idea of a family concept. Eight and nine year olds know that parents and children are blood related. Adoptive children of this particular age group therefore question which family they are really part of - their biological parents or their adoptive parents. Bearing in mind that children of this age group (8-9 year olds) have not yet understood the concept of adoption including all its implications it is not surprising that they feel insecure of their position within the adoptive family and voice a lot of questions regarding their heritage. During a further examination of 156 adopted children aged 6-11 years old Brodzinsky and his colleagues (1986) found out that a child's comprehension of its adoption is neither influenced by structure of the adoptive family (only child, biological siblings, adopted siblings), their social status, the previous history of the child nor its age or condition of health at the time of adoption. This means that the comprehension develops through an intra psychological process by combining the newly received information with other relevant knowledge of family structure, social institutions, human motives, separation, loss, - etc. This Process is therefore imbedded in the overall cognitive development of the child.

The results of this research clearly show that parents and adoption agents generally expect the adoptive children to understand the process of an adoption too early. In return they are surprised when primary school children ask a lot of questions regarding their biological parents and their heritage, the reasons for being put up for adoption as well as being insecure in terms of their adoptive parents love and sometimes show signs of sadness and depression. Parents and experts do not understand these behavioural patterns and often wrongly judge it as negative although it is quite normal, age appropriate and probably inevitable. It is a sign that the children are trying to achieve a better understanding of the adoption. In order to do so they have to process the loss of their biological parents and the resulting emotions (sadness) at this age. This is being complicated by the lack of knowledge about their biological parents.

Consequently it is vital that adoptive parents make themselves aware of the fact that adopted children will comprehend the adoption with all its implications not until they have entered their second decade of life. They (adoptive parents ) can help the child to achieve a positive and extensive comprehension of the adoption by openly and honestly discussing the issue instead of avoiding it. It is equally important that they are also aware of the difference between adoptive families and biological families further understanding the special status of their own family. Primarily they should not overstrain the child and confront it with unrealistic expectations but should give the child the time it needs for the long lasting cognitive development process which will conclude in a full comprehension of the adoption.

About the Author

Jeff Conrad himself was a adopted child.
He wants to give you the best and most comprehensive information about adopting children from all over the world.
www.international-adoption-site.info

Tags: adoption agency, Adoption General Information

In the world of International Adoption, Guatemala is one of the most popular and least regulated Countries. Last year there were estimated to have been 1,500 Guatemalan Children and Babies who have started fresh lives abroad, but the spectre of Illegal Adoptions have haunted Guatemala for years. Stories have emerged of mothers being forced to give up their new born children and of a booming private adoption business that has now grown almost into a multi million pound industry.

One of the key questions to look into is, are illegal adoptions taking place and if so how widespread is the practice? Finally, what is in the best interests of the Children of Guatemala? "With Overseas adoption, what is in the best interests of the children of Guatemala?"

Whilst organisations, such as UNICEF, do not claim that all of the overseas adoptions coming out of Guatemala are illegal or abusive, a new report issued from the organisation does highlight the increasing problem of child trafficking.

"Overseas adoption arose directly out of Guatemala?s harrowing history."

Overseas Adoptions and International adoption arose directly out of Guatemala?s harrowing history. The 36 year civil war ? which ended officially only four years ago ? left nearly a quarter of a million dead or disappeared and one million homeless, half of them children.

Elizabeth Gibbons is the director of UNICEF, and a leading critic of adoption as practised in Guatemala:

?Many, many orphaned children were taken into adoption by military officers ? sent into international adoption. Originally a humanitarian activity, but it became obvious that it had the potential for being a lucrative business. And the higher demand in the West ? the more birth control, more access to abortion ? so you have the problem of a huge demand, therefore a supply must be created.?

In recent years there has been a tightening up of controls in many of the major embassies and the UK, US and Canadian embassies now carry out DNA tests of both the birth mother and the baby to check out that the woman giving the baby up for adoption is the real birth mother.

?The existence of DNA doesn?t in any way tell you whether the mother is willingly giving up the child or whether she is being coerced. The second concern is that the children who pass the DNA test are not the same ones who go with the adopting parents on the plane, they could be switched. And thirdly, that the child who is rejected for having a negative DNA result by one of three embassies that offer this test, can then be offered to another embassy with parents of a another nationality.?

'No one respects the law or the state; everybody just does their own thing. And it?s the same with adoptions'

So with all of this abuse of the system going on, why hasn?t the government of Guatemala done anything to stop it. The general consensus is that Guatemala is in chaos with the country, now a fledgling democracy, only just emerging from under the shadows of years of Military rule

Guatemala is a difficult place from which to operate from and it is very hard to know who is in charge of what. There doesn?t appear to be a Minister in charge of Social Affairs and Adoption is very much bottom rung on the ladder.

The Chair of the Commission on the Child and the Family in the Guatemalan Parliament is Nineth Montenegro who is a vigorous critic of her own system and is campaigning to pass the ?The Children?s Code? to protect the rights of the Child in Guatemala explains:

?We?ve been working on it for three years now and parliament still hasn?t passed it. They say, if we try to regulate adoption in this way we will deny children better opportunities in wealthier countries. There has been terrible resistance to the new law. You know Guatemala is a democracy only in name, not a real democracy.

No one respects the law or the state; everybody just does their own thing. And it?s the same with adoptions.?

Part Two of this article will deal with the fun and games (euphemism for hassle) of dealing with Lawyers and Orphanages

Tags: Adoption by Country, guatemala adoption, international adoption

Although I was only six years old, I can still vividly remember the large brick building with the black and white tile floor. The little boy stood in the center of the room, and my heart went out to him. He seemed so lost. His big brown eyes looked at us with disbelief and fear. On his head he wore a little cap and he was dressed in shorts, a jacket, and knee socks. Although he was five years old, he looked like a three-year-old. An insufficient orphanage diet will do that to a child.

We walked over to him, and my mother took his hand from Sister Julie's. We all walked out to the car, my mother, father, and I, and my newly adopted brother. He was leaving the orphanage for the last time.

During the many years which have passed since that day, a similar scene has been re-enacted six different times for me. When my husband and I discovered we could not have children, we adopted six, now ranging in age from 38 to 55. Two came to us as small babies; one at a year of age; one at 10 years of age; one at 4 years of age, and the last at eleven years of age. There are three boys and three girls, and despite the usual family problems, they have been a constant joy to us. It seemed as though when the youngest started school we just had to have another one to fill the gap!

It is a well-known fact that for years there have been fewer and fewer babies available for adoption. There are, however, many older children under the care of the state adoption agencies in most states who are waiting for a "forever family". These children are available to persons whether they have children or not. And it is becoming more prevalent for single people to adopt. Siblings of all ages are also waiting.

The investigative process by the agencies is usually straight forward. Often a series of group meetings led by a social worker cover the general adoption process. These are followed by more meetings with the couple or single person alone, so they can state the age and sex of the child they prefer. A home study then follows. Prospective parents are usually unnecessarily nervous about this step as they feel they are on trial. This is a misconception. Agencies, in fact, are today generally more lenient than they were in the past.

It usually takes many months to complete the total investigation. Following its completion, the person or couple may receive the exciting news at any time. They often see the child for the first time where the child does not know he is being observed. We saw our oldest daughter for the first time in a restaurant when she sat at a table next to ours, accompanied by a social worker. We saw our youngest son on television in one of those "Thursday's child" episodes. Although the child is often prepared somewhat for eventual adoption, once the adopting persons show their approval of the child, the social worker talks to the child in earnest. Older children are often also allowed to express their opinion.

The next step is for the adopting parents to see the child in a series of visits. The first lasts a couple of hours, and the social worker comes along. The child comes for a visit, then overnight, then for a weekend or longer. When everyone feels comfortable in the situation, then the child is placed for good. This procedure, however, sometimes varies with different agencies. Some of our children were placed for good at the initial meeting. After the child is placed in the home, he or she can be legally adopted after months or a year, unless the court is backlogged. The court procedure is very simple, and afterwards the adopting persons receive an amended birth certificate of the child showing the adopting parents as the natural parents.

By the way, the little boy who left the orphanage with me and my parents so many years ago is now a retired Senior Master Sergeant in the U.S. Air Force with children and grandchildre of his own. In his own way, although he did not know it then, he was the inspiration in my husband's and my giving six children a home, children who otherwise may never have known us or each other. Such are the joys of adoption.

About the Author

Ms. Adams is a freelance writer for newspapers, magazines, and books. She has six adopted children. If you have questions about adoption you would like answered by those who have "been there, done that", go to Adoption Companion

Tags: Adoption by Country, Adoption by State, Adoption General Information