Saturday, 10/13/07
By ANITA WADHWANI
For The Tennessean

 

When Melva Black and her fellow churchgoers first encountered the South African home for children orphaned by the AIDS/HIV epidemic, she says, she was astounded by the conditions she saw.

"There were 60 children living in a two-bedroom, one-bathroom house," Black said.

Even worse, the landlord was trying to evict the children along with their protector, a strong-willed woman named Zodwa Mquadi, who had single-handedly gathered the children — some of whom had simply been wandering the streets alone.

Since then, Black and fellow members of the Metropolitan Interdenominational Church have been aiding the Agape Childcare Center, providing the seed money for Mquadi to purchase a stable home for the children, purchasing additional buildings to house the children and returning each year to build showers and classrooms, make repairs and deliver donations of clothing and money.

Many of the children have thrived, Black says. Some of the children went on to form a choir. Musical industry superstars such as Bono and Alicia Keys helped them produce a CD. The children toured the United States, including a stop at Metropolitan Interdenominational Church in 2005. They were here when Hurricane Katrina hit and collectively decided to divert a portion of the money their music was raising for the orphanage to the disaster victims.

Now the story of the orphans is the subject of a documentary, We Are Together, which is being shown at the Belcourt Theatre next week.

British filmmaker Paul Taylor followed the Agape choir for three years, documenting their struggles to succeed and raise money for the orphanage — and to sing.

Black says that life has not been easy for children lucky enough to have been taken in by "Mother Zodwa," as she is known.

The film shows 12-year-old Slindile, one of six siblings taken to the orphanage by their grandmother. Like others in the choir, she waits in excited anticipation for her chance to tour the United States, only to be devastated to learn that her older brother Sifisio has AIDS. He was also in the choir. Sifisio died earlier this year.

Black says at least five children from the orphanage have died from the disease since she has been visiting the orphanage.

But the choir has also transformed Slindile and the other children, says Black, who cared for Slindile in her home when the choir finally made it to Nashville.

"I saw a lot of jovialness and playfulness when they were here that I never saw with them in South Africa," Black says. "It's always bittersweet for me. The sweetness is knowing that we are really doing something that makes a difference in this global community. The bitterness is knowing that children die."

Black says her involvement with the orphanage has made a big impact on her personally.

"My hope is that we will never let this issue of HIV/AIDS die. It's still real and we all have a responsibility to do something about it."

The film has already won an award at the Tribecca Film Festival in New York City. Black says that filmmakers are trying to show it as widely as possible to ensure it is eligible for an Oscar nomination.

Source: http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071013/NEWS06/710130353/1001">Nashville%20church%20helps%20African%20AIDS%20orphans

 

Tags: Adoption by State, Adoption General Information, Orphans and Orphanages

 

How to Place Your Child Up For Adoption

 

There are times when things just go wrong.  And sometimes, though it pains you, you have to sacrifice something in order to keep things right.  It’s like when you give birth and find that it’s virtually impossible for you to be able to support a child.  No matter how much you want to keep your baby, you just can’t.  For your baby’s sake and for your own sake too, you decide to put the baby up for adoption.  It’ll be painful, yes.  But at least you’ll be giving your child a chance at a better life.

 

Before you decide…

 

One thing you should understand about adoption is that giving your child up for adoption means that you’re giving up all of your legal rights over your child.  It’s a hard decision to make for any mother out there.  Signing the papers and handing over your baby to the agency might just be the hardest thing you have to do.

 

Giving up your legal rights over your child means that you will be at the wrong side of the law if you disrupt the life of your child’s new family just so you could see your child.  It means watching from the sidelines, never acknowledging that you’re his mother.  When you see him accepting a medal for the honors he has received in school, you can be proud but you can’t tell him.  It means that you have to grin and bear it when you hear him call somebody else “Mom”.  You might even never see your baby again.  This can be very painful, especially after you have carried him in your womb for nine whole months.

 

However, if you really have no other choice and if there’s no chance for you or your parents to support the baby, then it probably is better to just put him up for adoption.  Just make sure that it’s your last resort.  You won’t want to regret your decision later.

 

Your options…

 

Once you’ve decided to put your child up for adoption, you have two choices.

 

One, you can keep holding on to your child until the agency finds a family willing to adopt your child.  Two, you can give your child to the agency, and let their people take care of the child for you while waiting for the child’s new family.

 

If you have a bit more money and can support your child while waiting for the new family, then you can be with your child for a little while more.  At least you can spend more time with your baby.  The danger here would be the risk of getting attached.  You’ll have to give him up as soon as the agency finds a new family.

 

The more time you spend with your baby, the more attached you will become.  And the more attached you become, the more difficult it will be to give him up when the time comes.

 

 

Changing your mind…

 

Okay, so you got too attached to him and changed your mind at the last minute.  It’s not uncommon.  Sometimes, the full gravity of the situation doesn’t hit you until the last minute.  So, despite your previous decision, you decide to throw caution to the wind and keep your baby no matter what it takes, even if you have to scrub the streets of New York with a toothbrush.

 

Unfortunately, in situations like this one, you can’t be fickle.  Changing your mind is all well and good if you’re the only one involved.  There are times, however, when it’s just too late to back out of the deal.  If the agency has not yet been able to find a family for your child, then it would be easy.  You probably won’t encounter much resistance if you decide to take your child back.  However, if the agency has already found a new family and if the new family’s really eager to have the baby, then you have a problem.  In some cases, the court would decide who gets the baby, you or the new family.  It would be even harder if you already signed the papers.

 

The lesson:  before putting your child up for adoption, you have to be very sure of your decision.  Adoption is a serious matter.  It’s also a painful thing… but it really might just be for the best.

Tags: Adoption General Information, adoption orphans, orphanages, orphans

Here is my First Official Post to outline my Catagories and Tags for Adoptions and Orphans.

Thanks,

Andy Madsen

Tags: adoption agency, Adoption Announcement, Adoption by Country, Adoption by State, adoption costs, adoption forums, Adoption General Information, Adoption Lawyers, adoption records, catholic adoption, china adoption, christian adoption, domestic adoption, Embryo Adoption, Ethiopia Adoption, foster parenting, free adoption, gay adoption, guatemala adoption, Interacial Adoption, international adoption, korean adoption, Orphans and Orphanages, russian adoption, special needs adoption, vietnam adoption

 

An associate of mine finds it very interesting that any couple in this world, no matter how rich or poor, no matter what they do for a living, no matter if they have a criminal record or not, no matter what kind of persons they are, can have as many kids as they like and nobody can say one word about it. But when a middle class, hard working, law abiding couple wants to adopt a child they have to jump through more hoops than a clown at a three ring circus. He wonders why. In this article we'll try to explain some of the problems and red tape associated with a couple trying to adopt a child.

For starters, adoption law varies from state to state. Yes, there are laws, and depending on where you live those laws can be quite different but there are some laws that are pretty common across the board. There is the Consent to Adoption. This consent refers to the agreement by a parent, or a person or agency acting in place of a parent, to relinquish the child for adoption and to release all rights and duties with respect to that child. In other words before you can adopt the child the birth parent or agency in charge, if the birth parents are dead, has to give consent for the adoption to take place.

Then there is the parties to adoption. In order for an adoption to take place, a person available to be adopted must be placed in the home of a person or persons eligible to adopt. All States, the District of Columbia, and the US territories Guam, Puerto Rico, American Samoa, the Northern Mariana Islands, and the Virgin Islands have laws that specify which persons are eligible as adopting parents, and which persons can be adopted. In other words they decide whether or not they think the adoptive parents are fit and this varies from state to state.

So who CAN adopt? Generally speaking anyone over the age of 18 but in some states 21 and still in others the minimum age is 25. Again, this is all state regulated. There are some states that allow minors to adopt under certain circumstances but this is very rare. In some states the adopting parents must be at least 10 years older than the child. So if you want to adopt a 15 year old boy you have to be at least 25 years of age. Then there is the residency question. Most states require that you be living at your current residence for at least 60 days.

So who can BE adopted? Generally, anyone under the age of 18. Of course depending on the state there are some additional requirements. For example, in some states the child has to be living in that state at the time of the adoption. So if you wanted to adopt someone from overseas you wouldn't be able to. In some states this extends further to the child having to be a resident for a certain length of time. Some states do allow the adoption of a person regardless of age but this is very rare. Then there is the question of WHO can place a child for adoption. This is usually the birth parent or parents unless both are dead and then it is the agency to which custody of the child was appointed.

But this gets even more complicated. What if the birth mother and father are not married and the mother wants to put the child up for adoption but the father does not? This becomes an extremely messy situation. First there is the court battle between the mother and father to determine who gets the say in the matter. In most cases unless the mother is proven unfit the right to place the child up for adoption is granted. If not, however, then a determination has to be made as to whether or not the father is given custody of the child. We are assuming at this point that since he was against the adoption that he will want to keep the child, but he is in no way legally obligated to do this and can put the child up for adoption at a later date.

Then there are the adoption fees. In most states the adoptive parents have to pay these fees and they can be enormous, going into the tens of thousands of dollars. My associate thinks this is absurd. The parents don't want the child but it's the adoptive parents who have to pay to get the child even though the child isn't wanted. Some would say that is hard logic to argue with. As you can see, adoption is not simple. Add to all the above that the adoption process can be a very lengthy one, sometimes taking years, it makes you wonder why anyone would go through the trouble. For that matter why would someone have to when there are so many unwanted children in the world? It gives you something to think about.

About the Author

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to http://african-safari.guide-to.info

Tags: adoption agency, adoption costs, Adoption General Information

 

In the early hours of Dec 26th 2004 the Western world awoke to the unfolding horror that we came to know as the Asian Tsunami. Those of us still recovering from obscenely large amounts of food and drink from the previous day sat transfixed as we watched a horror story of biblical proportions unfold before our very eyes.

The United Nations estimated that the Asian Tsunami left more than five million people homeless, including about 1.5 million children most of whom became orphaned. The outpouring of emotion from around the world was of mixed benefit as far as the region was concerned in that yes we all dug deep into our pockets and yes we all lobbied our Politicians to something about it and yes bizarrely this tragedy may have had some knock on effect in the movement to alleviate Third World debt and poverty but the blessings were mixed as far as the people on the ground were concerned.

Since the disaster, adoption agencies around the world have been fielding phone calls from well-meaning families wanting to adopt a child from one of the countries hit.

Adoption experts say the best thing people can do is to donate money to causes that directly help the children. They say it's wrong to take a traumatized child away from the environment that they have grown up in. "Adoptions, especially inter-country ones, are inappropriate during the emergency phase as children are better placed being cared for by their wider families and the communities they know," said the charity Save the Children in a statement released Jan. 6, 2005. International Adoption needs to be well planned "The last thing they need to do is be rushed away to some foreign land," said Cory Barron of Children's Hope International, an American adoption agency. "We have to think of the child first."

Adoption by some well meaning couple in the west flying half way round the world bearing large sums of money to whisk the child away to a life totally alien to everything it has known isn't always what is in the best interests of the child.

It is worth bearing in mind the following facts after any tragedy like this:

* Children will be experiencing an immense sense of loss and grief. * They will need to know what they feel is normal and that they're not going crazy. * They need to be with people they know and to feel as safe as possible. * They need to establish a daily routine as soon as possible to reduce their fears. * They should play with other children to have time away from their fears and allowed to have creative expression such as materials to draw. * Those separated from family members need to be registered as soon as possible and reunified quickly. * Putting children in a temporary care facility or an orphanage should be the last resort.

Around 200 children were orphaned and many more lost one parent when the Tsunami struck the district of Nagappattinam in Tamil Nadu state, the worst-affected region in India.

The local administration has handled scores of queries from individuals and organisations wanting to adopt the children.

But fears of human trafficking have made the government tread with caution. The emphasis now is on rehabilitating these children in the local communities. Suryakala, a district social welfare officer in Nagappattinam, says many children they talked to preferred to remain here rather than move out of the area.

The local administration has asked those interested in adoption to send in applications. But they are in no hurry to move these children out.

Around 60 children have been put up in an orphanage run by the Zion Church in Nagappattinam.

Parvathi lost her parents but has returned to the school to take her examinations. She visits her relatives once a month and says she prefers to stay in Nagappattinam.

Local charities and social activists have lobbied hard with the government not to "give away" these children for adoption. Aftab, a young activist, says he learned a lot from the aftermath of the Gujarat earthquake in 2000. He says that in the past two months there have been several instances of representatives of organisations trying to "forcibly" take away orphans. Nagappattinam was one of India's worst-hit areas" The local community objected and expressed its willingness to take care of such children," says Aftab. "None of these children want to be moved out," he says. The local administration, Aftab says, is still not clear about what it wants to do with them.

He has met representatives of different villages who back the idea not to move them out.

"Why should these children be sent to orphanages and homes far from here?" he asks.

Efforts by individuals like Aftab seem to have had an impact.

The local administrator's office has decided against any hasty decision.

One official summed up the dilemma faced by the government: "The issue of children is a delicate matter in any community… one wrong step and we will invite the wrath of the people."

Adoption experts are hoping the outpouring of interest in adoptions from the tsunami disaster might translate into adoptions elsewhere. The real tragedy is that the tsunami doesn't even dent the numbers of orphans worldwide, the real numbers are unfathomable. Most adoption specialists say the number of orphans globally may be somewhere in the range of 40 to 60 million–13 million in sub-Saharan Africa alone due to the AIDS crisis there, and many more in Russia, China and Latin America. Only a fraction of those children are in official adoption pools.

"We are hopeful that the tsunami-affected countries will eventually have an open mind to international adoption," says Thomas Atwood, President of the US National Council for Adoption. "But we're also hopeful that parents will look to adopt children in other parts of the world. There are thousands of children available for adoption right now. For those whose hearts have been tugged by the tsunami, perhaps this is a step in their journey towards another child."

So perhaps even after the darkest and most terrible of tragedies there can be some positive long term benefits and these are that whilst a large number of people may ignore the need or desire to adopt from within their own communities in favour of adoption with an International dimension this raising of the Adoption Profile and the inherent potential problems may well bring some of those new to Adoption back to considering Adoption from within their communities. The other benefit that can be taken from this whole affair may be the overall increase in the awareness of the concept of Adoption itself. If this in turn leads to more children being partnered with Adoptive Families then that can only be considered good.

Stephen Morgan is the principal advisor for International Adoption Information, an independent advisory organisation in social and child welfare. http://www.internationaladoptioninformation.com, http://www.internationaladoptionusa.info. and http://www.internationaladoptionresourcecentre.com

About the Author

Stephen is the principal advisor for International Adoption Information, an independent advisory organisation in social and child welfare. http://www.internationaladoptioninformation.com

Tags: adoption agency, Adoption by Country, Adoption General Information, international adoption, Orphans and Orphanages