October 27, 2007

Adoption Is An Option

If a couple has been trying for sometime to conceive and have done everything they could to do so, then maybe they could consider adoption.

There are so many babies and children in the world looking for a mother and father. Couples can choose to adopt a child in their home country or one from abroad. There have been those couples who have adopted children from several different countries. The highest profile adoptions recently have been Angelina Jolie and Meg Ryan. Angelina adopted a little boy, Maddox, from Cambodia and a little girl, Zahara, from Ethopia. Meg Ryan adopted a little girl from China.

Adoption is not an easy process. There are many requirements that the adoptive couple will have to meet before they are allowed to move forward with the adoption. Here is a list showing some of the criteria:

* * Marital Status
* * Length of Marriage
* * Age of Adoptive Parents
* * Health and Disabilities Issues of Adoptive Parents
* * Use of Drugs, Alcohol and Tobacco
* * Fertility Status
* * Other Children in the Family
* * Financial Status
* * Employment Stability

The cost of adoption depends on how they choose to proceed. If they use the US foster care system, there is little or almost no cost to the adoptive parents. In some states, subsidies are offered. Stepparent or kinship adoptions usually cost up to $2,500.

Using an agency, private or international adoption can cost up to $30,000.

Benefits: You control the search process and the degree of openness with the birthparents, have direct contact with the birthparents, and aren?t restricted by agency requirements.

Risks: Costs are less predictable, as extensive advertising and medical expenses can drive up costs. Length of time to find a birthmother is unpredictable. As with an agency adoption, a birthparent can change her mind.

Here are some good resources with information about adoption: http://Adoption.com, National Adoption Center, National Council for Adoption, American Adoption Congress.

Regardless how the couple decides to adopt, the important fact is that they and their new child will be on their way to a nurturing and loving relationship.

 

About the Author:

Our History: With over 25 years of experience in the baby related industry http://HappyMothers.com has the most experienced and knowledgeable sales staff, and customer service representatives. SEO by http://TrafficXTC.com

 
Tags:Technorati adoption agency, adoption costs
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November 10, 2007

Awaiting adoptions that may never be

By Jeff Gammage

INQUIRER STAFF WRITER

> Rosanne Cowen was at work in her Moorestown office when an e-mail arrived from her adoption agency, bearing the subject line "Baby Girl."

> Her hands shook as she opened the message: She and her husband had a new daughter - Maria Jose, a newborn living with a foster family in Guatemala City. Photos showed a dark-haired girl with intense black eyes.

> "The immediacy of the love, the certainty of this connection - it was an instantaneous awareness that I'm going to throw myself in front of any bus, train or bullet for her," said Cowen, chief of marketing for Bayada Nurses.

> That was nine weeks ago. Today, the Cowens don't know whether they will get to meet Maria Jose, much less raise her.

> The Bucks County couple is among a tormented group that activists are calling the "Guatemala 5,000" - families that have been matched with and in some cases even met their children-to-be, only to see their vision of happiness put in jeopardy. Guatemalan officials recently took action that will suspend adoptions to the United States as of Jan. 1, making the fates of couples such as the Cowens - and children such as Maria Jose - suddenly unclear.

> Last year, Guatemala was the second most popular country for Americans wanting to adopt, behind only China.

> Experts say the pending halt of a program haunted by allegations of corruption is among signs that may portend a radical reorganization of international adoption, the impact reverberating from Philadelphia to the Philippines, South Jersey to South Korea. Since 1990, Guatemala has sent nearly 25,000 children to U.S. homes, joining China and Russia as one of the "big three," together accounting for two-thirds of foreign adoptions.

> "The future of Guatemalan adoptions is totally up in the air," said Deborah Cohen, program coordinator for Adoptions from the Heart, an agency based in Wynnewood.

> The controversy arises from Guatemala's decision to join the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption, an international treaty that sets standard procedures. The government announced it would stop processing adoptions to non-Hague countries - a list that includes the United States - on Jan. 1.

> Cohen estimates that 70 agency families, most of whom live in the Northeast, are caught in limbo. Some have made several trips to Central America to spend time with the children as their paperwork inched forward.

> Guatemalan adoption "needed reform, and it needed change," said Tom DiFilipo, chief executive officer of the Virginia-based Joint Council on International Children's Services. But the potential harm of a closure accrues not just to couples seeking children. Without funds from U.S. parents, he said, it is unclear how basic care will be provided to babies relinquished by their birth parents.

> "It's a nightmare," he said. "What's going to happen to those kids?"

> In Guatemala, grinding poverty and the stigma of unwed motherhood lead some mothers to surrender babies, often to a lawyer or an adoption agency that places the children in orphanages or foster homes. Couples in this country work with U.S. adoption agencies, which in turn work with Guatemalan lawyers.

> For years, the United States has pushed the Guatemalan government to improve its oversight, concerned that some mothers were being threatened or bribed into giving up their babies. Now the Guatemalan Congress' passage of Hague Convention legislation unsettles the lives of people such as Meghan and Michael Wall of East Falls. They were matched with a son in April, flew to meet him in August, and expected to travel to adopt him in November.

> "I have good days and bad days," Meghan Wall said. "I'm trying to stay very hopeful that in the long haul we're going to be parenting him."

> The boy's name, Eddy, was bestowed by his birth mother. The Walls like how the name sounds in English and is spelled like the swirling current in a stream. Last month, Eddy turned 10 months old.

> For the Walls, the five days in a Guatemala City hotel now seem idyllic - feeding Eddy, sleeping by him, taking him to the pool. The thought of losing him is not only heartbreaking but maddening.

> As required, Eddy's birth mother took a DNA test to prove parenthood, and thus her right to surrender her child. A second test to reconfirm the child's identity is required before the adoption can be final.

> "I'm sure there have been cases of exploitation and coercion," said Meghan Wall, who teaches dance at Princeton University. "But I'm sure that's the exception and not the rule, and it's being made out to be the rule."

> Prospective parents have been bombarding congressmen with calls and e-mails, while agencies such as the Joint Council are beseeching the Guatemalan government to let adoptions that are under way proceed to completion.

> The Guatemalan Congress is reviewing an amendment to allow that. But advocates do not know if the amendment will pass - and if it does, how the government will define "under way." A final vote is expected this month.

> The United States signed onto the Hague Convention in 1994 but has yet to officially join, a delay attributed to bureaucratic sluggishness and complaints from social-service providers about certain provisions.

> Meanwhile, the atmosphere has turned ugly. Last month, Guatemalan Vice President Eduardo Stein angered parents in his country with an essay alleging that children were being stolen for their internal organs, reviving rumors about the intentions of U.S. parents.

> Many agencies, DiFilipo said, have now advised families against traveling to Guatemala to see a child. "It's not safe," he said.

> But it is far. So why do couples go all the way to Guatemala - or China, or Kazakhstan, or Nepal, or Vietnam - instead of adopting youngsters in this country?

> The answer is that not many babies are available, and the competition for them is fierce.

> During the last 30 years, the stigma of single-motherhood has faded, while access to birth-control and abortion has grown. As a result, far fewer U.S. babies are placed for adoption. Traditional adoptions now number only about 13,000 annually, down from 89,000 in the mid-1970s.

> That scarcity, together with changing attitudes about race and multiculturalism, has driven the market overseas, particularly to China, Russia and Guatemala. Last year, those countries completed 14,334 of the 20,679 foreign adoptions to the United States.

> But experts think a fundamental restructuring in the multimillion-dollar industry may be near, with the three leading nations shrinking or surrendering their roles and smaller countries stepping up.

> This year China approved stringent regulations that seem sure to reduce adoptions. Russia emerged from a moratorium with a new emphasis on domestic adoption. Now, Guatemala is poised for a stoppage.

> Meanwhile, African countries including Ethiopia and Liberia have been increasing their adoptions, although their overall numbers are small.

> "How it's going to play out, nobody knows," said Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute in New York. "As long as there's poverty and war, kids will need homes. But where those kids are, where they go - those things are changing."

> For the Guatemala 5,000 - a club nobody wants to belong to - change is wrenching.

> Bill and Roseanne Cowen find themselves constantly thinking of Maria Jose. "Since the first time I saw pictures of her, the process has been on my mind day and night," Bill Cowen said.

> The Newtown couple longs to see her in person, but for now their agency has advised against a trip.

> "I'm trying to stay positive and focused for my child," Rosanne Cowen said. "I feel I owe her that. I don't feel like I have the luxury to fall apart."

>


Contact staff writer Jeff Gammage at 610-313-8110 or jgammage@phillynews.com.

 
Find this article at:
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/local/11043841.html

Tags:Technorati Adoption by Country, guatemala adoption
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November 24, 2007

Adoption - Still an Option for Teen Pregnancy

Although the decision to give up a child is always heart-wrenching, it can be a "win-win" solution to two painful problems. Adoption is a legal process that gives adoptive parents rights and aresponsibilities and the adoptive child social, legal and emotional rights as a family member.

Putting a child up for adoption allows the child?s birth mother to continue with schooling or career, and she has a chance to create a stable home life before taking on the responsibility of motherhood.

More and more adoptions are including the birth mother as a permanent part of the child?s future, which makes the decision easier for the biological parents, but may make it more difficult for the adopting parents.

Of the approximately 120,000 children that are adopted by U.S. citizens every year, about half are adopted by people who are not related to the child. The other half re by grandparents, step parents, or other family members.

Both biological and adoptive parents should carefully consider the decision. If you are thinking that adoption may be the best solution for your baby, you should decide how much contact, if any, you would like to have with your child in the future. If you would like to stay connected, find an adoption agency that specializes in open adoptions. Find out from the agency or attorney if you will be able to choose your baby?s new parents, or determine their race, age or economic status.

If you want to adopt a child, you will also need to make many difficult decisions, and take a good look at your own situation and expectations. Can you afford a child with special needs, for instance, or would you be comfortable adopting an older child from the foster care system? Some prospective parents believe an older child would bring joy to their home, but others have carefully looked at their feelings, and know they could only bond with an infant.

Parenting does require financial security and a safe, stable home. However, a child doesn't need "perfect" parents and adoption agencies don't make unreasonable requirements. You will not be automatically disqualified if you are single, divorced, parenting other children, or because you have a disability. Some adoption agencies will consider working with gay and lesbian families. You do not need to own your own home or be wealthy or highly educated.

You do need to have tons of love available. A half-ton of patience would help, too.

If you are trying to adopt an infant, especially a Caucasian infant, you may find additional restrictions because of such a high demand. If you are interested in adopting a Native American child and are not yourself a Native American, you may be disqualified. Some agencies encourage cross-race adoptions, while others do not.

Adoption agencies are located in almost every city, and some attorneys specialize in adoption law. Referrals are recommended.

Both biological and adopting parents should carefully research the adoption process before contacting an agency or an attorney. The more you know about how adoptions work, the more sure you can be of having your needs met.

Both biological and adopting parents should also consider finding a support group, so you?ll have others in your situation to talk to. This is one of the biggest decisions in your life, and it?s common to have no family members or friends who have ever made this decision. It helps relieve the stress if you join a group of people who understand exactly what you?re going through.

If you?re a teen mother, or if your pregnancy was unexpected and unplanned, adoption agencies will have many prospective parents on their waiting lists. The waiting time for adopting parents is likely to be much. Since many unwed mothers are now choosing to terminate their pregnancy or to keep the child, prospective adoptive parents can expect to wait up to two to three years.

Biological parents will probably have their medical costs paid by the adoption agency. Adopting parents may find programs that help cover the expense of adoption. The Federal Adoption Tax Credit was $10,630 in 2005. Some employers are also offering financial assistance to adopting parents. Employers may offer loans, family leave, and health benefits.

Jonni Good is the publisher of 1 Teen Pregnancy.com where she provides more information on common pregnancy questions from teens, the early symptoms of pregnancy, and pregnancy nutrition. Visit her website at www.1teenpregnancy.com

 

Tags:Technorati Adoption General Information, Orphans and Orphanages
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November 10, 2007

Choosing The Right Adoption Agency

When you are looking to adopt you should research different adoption agencies very carefully. There are many things to consider in order to help you narrow down to a list of specific adoption agencies. Here are some questions to ask yourself before you being any research:

1. Do you want a domestic adoption (within the United States) or an international adoption?
2. If you do want to adopt internationally which countries would you consider adopting from?
3. Do you want to adopt an infant or older child?
4. Do you want to work with an adoption agency close to your home or anywhere within the United States?
5. How will you finance your adoption?
6. How soon do you want to adopt?
7. Which races are you willing to adopt? (Caucasian, Asian, African American, etc.)
8. Do you want a boy or girl?
9. Do you have any special circumstances? (single-parent, gay couple, older couple, etc.)
10. Do you know anyone who has adopted before?

Once you ask yourself these questions you can develop a list of adoption agencies that you can request information from. Most adoption agencies will send you an information packet free of charge about their adoption services. Research on the internet and write down agencies that you feel can meet your needs. Once you have at least ten ask them to send you an information packet. Review the packets and throw away the ones that you do not like. With the remaining agencies call them and ask more questions about their services, how they operate, and other common questions.

Finally choose an adoption agency. Once you have chosen an agency double check with the state licensing department and ensure that they are in good standing. You may also want to check with your local BBB to see if any complaints have been filed against them. Finally ask the agency for some references of previous adoptive parents that you can talk to personally. Once they have ?passed the test? you can start filling out the paperwork to adopt a child.

 

About the Author:

Eric Morgan owns an adoption agencies website. You can visit it to find a list of adoption agencies that may fit your needs.

 

Tags:Technorati adoption agency, domestic adoption, international adoption
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October 8, 2007

What About Adoption?

The author talks about her experience with infertility
Most people dont give adoption much thought. We tend to see it as a fine thing in a vague sort of way but were sure its not for us.

I would have agreed with this years ago but a number of things have happened to change my mind.

Back in 1988 when we married, my husband and I assumed wed have children right away. He thought two would be nice while I secretly preferred something along the lines of six or more. When three years had passed with no pregnancy I wasnt alarmed exactly; it was like hearing a siren from miles away and wondering where the fire was. Shortly after our fifth wedding anniversary I realized that something really was wrong. That siren was ringing for me.

I went to see a doctor, and then another. And then I saw a infertility specialist. I read books, underwent tests that became increasingly more uncomfortable until finally, I ended up having procedures done that were considerably painful. Ive taken expensive medications and lived my life by the charts my doctor set up. To back up Western medicine I consulted naturopathic doctors and even took a trip to Chinatown and visited an elderly Chinese herbalist. He gave me a bottle full of slimy, foul smelling black pills. A few years earlier I wouldve laughed and walked out. After seven years of infertility I bought the pills and took four everyday. With this full scale bombardment of my reluctant reproductive system I got pregnant. Four times actually. Each pregnancy ended in miscarriage before I even realized that I was pregnant in the first place.

Infertility is like being force fed a belly full of bitter water everyday of your life. Ive felt every emotion from shame, to fear, to rage so boiling hot it frightened me. Its impossible to live this way for very long and eventually my husband convinced me that there might be another way: adoption.

We looked into adoption very cautiously. As we attended seminars and adoption fairs we both noticed something interesting: we were almost always the only black people there. Although it often felt like it, we werent the only black couple fighting infertility in America and the adoption seminars and agencies we researched dealt primarily in placing black and mixed raced children. What was going on?

Black culture has always embraced informal, family adoption. When young Susie got pregnant out of wedlock it was common for Grandma or Aunt Lucy to step in and raise the child as their own. If Cousin Della got sick or died leaving young children you could be sure that some relative would take them home. Today millions of black women find themselves raising grandchildren because the AIDS epidemic or the scourge of drug abuse has destroyed their children.

The trouble, I think lies with the perceived red tape that goes along with formal adoption. Unless you are a celebrity or are very rich there are two hurdles that you must clear in order to adopt an American child. First, as crass as it sounds you need ready cash and lots of it. Even if you turn to a state run agency you must be prepared to spend several thousands of dollars. Second, your life will be examined by a disinterested person who is looking for trouble. You will need personal references, your credit will looked into and if youre married, that stability of your marriage will be probed for any sign of weakness. Many people, black and white find this discovery process to be distasteful but I really cant object to it. Children awaiting adoption are not pets or toys. Every effort must be made to be sure that they dont end up in bad homes. Little Candace Moody and Lisa Steinberg are two examples of what horrors can occur when a helpless child is handed over to an unstable person. Both these children died horrible deaths because they were adopted by the wrong people.

The North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC) says that there are currently about 53,000 black kids waiting for adoption. Most of them will spend five or more years in foster care. The ones who dont find homes will be essentially set adrift once they reach age 18. Thats not good enough. At those adoption seminars I met white couples who were willing to adopt black children but they are a drop in an ocean of need. Transracial adoption as controversial as it is only accounts for less than ten percent of adoptions nationwide. Adopting a child takes more than love. If you have the patience to endure the process, room in your heart and home, and yes, the willingness to spend the money, consider adopting. Black parents are desperately needed and the kids cant wait any longer.

About the Author

Kimberley Lindsay Wilson's guest editorials and book reivews have appeared in over 100 newspapers across the country. She is a contributing writer for numerous e-zines and is the author of 11 Things Mama Should've Told You About Men and the newly revised Work It! The Black Woman's Guide to Success at Work.

Tags:Technorati Adoption General Information, domestic adoption, Interacial Adoption
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