In the UK, this week is Adoption Week. The one time of the year when all the Organisations and Charities involved in all the aspects of Adoption get together to try and help raise the awareness of what Adoption is really all about.

Now in theory this is all ?fine and dandy? (to coin a phrase) but as with all things (Adoption is no different) there are Winners and there are losers.

Now it may be a crime of immense political incorrectness to look at this way but there really isn?t any other truthful way of looking at it.

It is called the ?Adoption Triangle?, the Holy Trinity of Adoption, The three sided equation but in reality there is more.

On the surface of it there is just the Birth Mother, the adopted child and the Adoptive Parents but would that it was that simple. In reality the adoption triangle involves two families in total. On the Birth Families side you have the Birth Parents (everyone tends to forget about the Father), the adopted child?s siblings (that?s brothers and sisters to you and me) and their Grandparents, Uncles & Aunts etc.

On the adoptive families side there are an equally large number of involved personnel (albeit to a different degree) and these all will have in truth some impact though none fall into consideration when the Adoption is processed.

It sounds cold and clinical to talk of Adoption as a procedure, but that it is what it is. In an attempt to heighten and increase the awareness of Adoption, Organisations involved tend to couch their terms in warm comfortable phraseology that tends to wash over the fact that for every ?warm cuddly adoptive family? waiting to welcome into their arms ?the child of their dreams? their will be sometimes be a Birth Mother who is going to be forever separated from her child.

Now in a great many cases, this entire process is for the better but in the past the separation of birth mother and child has quite often been a forced and painful one and there are very few Birth Mothers in existence today who haven?t thought regularly of the child they had and what could, possibly might have been.

People forget that the role of being a Birth Mother isn?t always filled by the Alcoholic drug ridden typecast incapable young girl, the image so lovingly played upon by some Adoption organisations. Quite often the conception and actual birth of a child is a complete social disaster for a number of reasons some of which lie beyond the control of the birth mother herself. The adoption is a traumatic experience that will leave scars of guilt forever etched in the psyche of the birth mother herself.

It is said that time is great healer but there are some scars and experiences that even time cannot heal.

Tags: Adoption Announcement, adoption costs

In the world of International Adoption, Guatemala is one of the most popular and least regulated Countries. Last year there were estimated to have been 1,500 Guatemalan Children and Babies who have started fresh lives abroad, but the spectre of Illegal Adoptions have haunted Guatemala for years. Stories have emerged of mothers being forced to give up their new born children and of a booming private adoption business that has now grown almost into a multi million pound industry.

One of the key questions to look into is, are illegal adoptions taking place and if so how widespread is the practice? Finally, what is in the best interests of the Children of Guatemala? "With Overseas adoption, what is in the best interests of the children of Guatemala?"

Whilst organisations, such as UNICEF, do not claim that all of the overseas adoptions coming out of Guatemala are illegal or abusive, a new report issued from the organisation does highlight the increasing problem of child trafficking.

"Overseas adoption arose directly out of Guatemala?s harrowing history."

Overseas Adoptions and International adoption arose directly out of Guatemala?s harrowing history. The 36 year civil war ? which ended officially only four years ago ? left nearly a quarter of a million dead or disappeared and one million homeless, half of them children.

Elizabeth Gibbons is the director of UNICEF, and a leading critic of adoption as practised in Guatemala:

?Many, many orphaned children were taken into adoption by military officers ? sent into international adoption. Originally a humanitarian activity, but it became obvious that it had the potential for being a lucrative business. And the higher demand in the West ? the more birth control, more access to abortion ? so you have the problem of a huge demand, therefore a supply must be created.?

In recent years there has been a tightening up of controls in many of the major embassies and the UK, US and Canadian embassies now carry out DNA tests of both the birth mother and the baby to check out that the woman giving the baby up for adoption is the real birth mother.

?The existence of DNA doesn?t in any way tell you whether the mother is willingly giving up the child or whether she is being coerced. The second concern is that the children who pass the DNA test are not the same ones who go with the adopting parents on the plane, they could be switched. And thirdly, that the child who is rejected for having a negative DNA result by one of three embassies that offer this test, can then be offered to another embassy with parents of a another nationality.?

'No one respects the law or the state; everybody just does their own thing. And it?s the same with adoptions'

So with all of this abuse of the system going on, why hasn?t the government of Guatemala done anything to stop it. The general consensus is that Guatemala is in chaos with the country, now a fledgling democracy, only just emerging from under the shadows of years of Military rule

Guatemala is a difficult place from which to operate from and it is very hard to know who is in charge of what. There doesn?t appear to be a Minister in charge of Social Affairs and Adoption is very much bottom rung on the ladder.

The Chair of the Commission on the Child and the Family in the Guatemalan Parliament is Nineth Montenegro who is a vigorous critic of her own system and is campaigning to pass the ?The Children?s Code? to protect the rights of the Child in Guatemala explains:

?We?ve been working on it for three years now and parliament still hasn?t passed it. They say, if we try to regulate adoption in this way we will deny children better opportunities in wealthier countries. There has been terrible resistance to the new law. You know Guatemala is a democracy only in name, not a real democracy.

No one respects the law or the state; everybody just does their own thing. And it?s the same with adoptions.?

Part Two of this article will deal with the fun and games (euphemism for hassle) of dealing with Lawyers and Orphanages

Tags: Adoption by Country, guatemala adoption, international adoption

How do you know if international adoption is for your family? Well, there is no perfect definition of someone who would be a good potential adoptive parent, but answering the questions will help clarify whether international child adoption is for you. It?s not for everyone.

If your reason for adopting a child, anywhere, is to rescue him or her, this is not a good enough reason. If you are adopting a child to save your marriage, know that it usually only compounds the marital problems. If you are interested in adopting a child that has a certain IQ or learning capacity, no adoption is not for you.

But if you have a warm and mature love for children and have the desire and flexibility to love, accept, and raise a child not born to you, international child adoption could be you. If you are interested in making a family, which would include an infant, toddler, or alder child, then international adoption is a viable option. If you are interested in giving a future to a child who otherwise might not have one, international adoption could be for you.

If you think international adoption is hard or near impossible, just think of this: close to ten thousand children born outside of the United States are adopted each year by U.S. families. The annual number has been relatively stable for years, hovering between 9,800 and 11,500 adoptions.

That number will rise and while it won?t skyrocket, international adoption will continue to grow ? slowly ? and become more common. It?s not as difficult to do as it used to be; more countries now have the mechanism to place abandoned children with families that want them, and our increasingly diverse society is more receptive to children who are from different countries.

Orphanages worldwide are filled with children who need parents. There are at least 700,000 in orphanages in former Communist countries that need adoptive families. These figures do not include the enormous numbers of children in Asian or Latin American orphanages.

There is a tremendous need for International adoptions and whilst it may not be the panacea for all child welfare needs it certainly does assist on a great number of instances.

Hopefully the increased and raised profile International Adoption has had recently through the current set of adoptions by the Rich and Famous will have some positive effect and keep this much needed aspect of Social Child welfare in the public eye.

Tags: Adoption by Country, international adoption

 

Hardly a day seems to pass by nowadays without some emissary and entourage from a well-heeled location somewhere in the west jetting off to some third world country and returning days later having effectively bought themselves a shining bright new baby. These actions in themselves has in a rather brutal way highlighted one of the great iniquities of modern life

It is hard not to view these incidents as just this year's fashion statement on behalf of the rich and famous.

Last year it was "let's all campaign against the brutality of hunting animals for their fur" and this year it's a case of lets take our obscene amounts of money and go and buy a baby from Africa.

There are several issues on different levels here and on one hand we have to accept that it is every child's right to live in a happy, stable and loving family unit where possible, a right that is sadly all too lacking for about 95 percent of the worlds children. On the other hand you have to accept that in some cases money isn't necessarily the Universal Panacea for the World ills that we sometimes believe it to be.

More often than not there is an upsurge in this sort of activity right after some natural disaster of almost biblical proportions has wiped out either entire coastlines or communities built out of brick living on some geophysical fault line somewhere have suffered a massive earthquake.

In itself there is nothing wrong with this supposed outpouring of communal generosity but sometimes you have to try and view these activities from the other side to obtain a better rounded picture of what is exactly the best course of action to take here.

Adoption experts say the best thing people can do is to donate money to causes that directly help the children. They say it's wrong to take a traumatized child away from the environment that they have grown up in. "Adoptions, especially inter-country ones, are inappropriate during the emergency phase as children are better placed being cared for by their wider families and the communities they know," said the charity Save the Children in a statement released Jan. 6, 2005. International Adoption needs to be well planned "The last thing they need to do is be rushed away to some foreign land," said Cory Barron of Children's Hope International, an American adoption agency. "We have to think of the child first."

Perhaps that is the problem with so many designer International Adoptions nowadays - the parties involved don't necessarily think of the interests of the child first rather a case of satisfying the maternal longings of people who should know better and most cases don't.

Perhaps now would be a good time to start to implement and effect that change.

About the Author

Stephen Morgan writes regularly on social matters and is editor of http://www.adoptionusa.info http://www.internationaladoptioninformation.com and http://www.internationaladoptionusa.info

Tags: Adoption by Country, Interacial Adoption, international adoption

By Jen Christensen
Posted: Sunday, November 04, 2007 at 8:22 p.m.

 

Celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Madonna have highlighted the need for adopting children overseas, but they're also making it look easy and somewhat glamorous. Many adoptions do end wonderfully, but the journey can be challenging.

Here's what couples really go through when they are called to adopt.

Jami and Clint Kaeb didn't plan on adopting.

Jami said, "I kind of wanted a sign. How do we know for sure we're supposed to adopt?" They already had two beautiful girls, but when they heard of the more than 140 million orphans in the world they opened their hearts.

Andy Lehman works for Life International, a non profit organization that gives matching grants and no interest loans to people looking to adopt overseas.

Andy said, "A lot of people don't know until the day the bills are due how it will be paid, but it works out."

International Adoption can cost between $15 to 30 thousand, but the cost isn't stopping families on a mission.

 

Andy said, "Adoption is becoming more normative. It creates momentum where hey, if other folks are doing it, then maybe that's something I could consider doing."

According to the Adoption Institute, international adoptions have more than doubled since the 1990's. They have gone from about 9,000 children in 1991 to around 19,000 in 2001.

 

Jami and Clint flew to Guatemala to meet the little boy they picked several months before they were set to take him home. The Kaebs planned on adopting a little boy that was 4 to 6 months old, but court delays changed that. Jami said, "Our attorney says it took 97 days in that last court, which should take 4 weeks if that. that was hard."

Jami was nervous she wouldn't recognize her son after only seeing him in pictures, but she was overwhelmed with emotion and felt a bond with him immediately when his foster mom brought him into the room. The little boy they had dreaming of became Hudson.

The Kaeb's spent five days with him in Guatemala before they had to hand him back to his foster mom and wait for the courts to let them take Hudson home.

Several months later, at 10 months old, Hudson became an American citizen. His parents flew back to Guatemala to pick him up. His sisters and tons of relatives and friends waited at the airport to greet him.

Jami said, "We were up late that night. The kids typically go to bed around 7:30. We were up until 10:30 that night." Clint said, "He scratched one of the girls and she was like that's O.K. Hudson. The next day it was over. She was like Hudson scratched me, but that night he could do no wrong."

 

Adding a family member is an adjustment no matter what, but when the child is adopted from another country there is even more planning.

 

Clint said, “You hear about these cases where the child is 7 years old their parents sat them down and said they're adopted. Wow! And they're hit with this big thing."

 

Jami and Clint are very open about their adoption. They video taped the entire process, Hudson will be able to see his foster mom Felipa and they have two pictures of his birth mom.

 

Jami said, "She (birth mom) basically wanted him to know she loves him and wanted a better life for him. So, I'm glad I know that. "

 

Life International, a company that helps families adopt internationally, gives these tips for adoptive parents:

*Learn a few simple phrases in the native language.

*Create a routine immediately.

*Join a play group with other families who have adopted children from the same country.

* Enjoy food and artifacts from the country.

 

Andy said, "It's important to highlight and emphasize the positive aspects of that country and make it part of that family."

Hudson is now one year old and is adjusting rather well to his new home. He is attached to his mom and is starting to pick up the English language.

The Kaebs have even joined an adoption pot luck group. Clint jokingly said, "Instead of a kid walking up and saying why do you look different than others in your family? It's why isn't there anyone in your family that looks different?"

Jami and Clint say there will be challenges ahead, but after 10 months of waiting it feels good to be a normal family, to finally be complete.

Jami said, "I tell them I love you three kids. I just get so excited that they're together. It's just is great to see them all home."

 

 

Some countries are easier to adopt from than others.

Right now, China sees the most adoptions, then Russia, and Guatemala. In the last few years, Ethiopia has seen a huge surge.

The average age of internationally adopted children is 18 months old.

 

Tags: Ethiopia Adoption, guatemala adoption, international adoption, vietnam adoption