November 10, 2007

Awaiting adoptions that may never be

By Jeff Gammage

INQUIRER STAFF WRITER

> Rosanne Cowen was at work in her Moorestown office when an e-mail arrived from her adoption agency, bearing the subject line "Baby Girl."

> Her hands shook as she opened the message: She and her husband had a new daughter - Maria Jose, a newborn living with a foster family in Guatemala City. Photos showed a dark-haired girl with intense black eyes.

> "The immediacy of the love, the certainty of this connection - it was an instantaneous awareness that I'm going to throw myself in front of any bus, train or bullet for her," said Cowen, chief of marketing for Bayada Nurses.

> That was nine weeks ago. Today, the Cowens don't know whether they will get to meet Maria Jose, much less raise her.

> The Bucks County couple is among a tormented group that activists are calling the "Guatemala 5,000" - families that have been matched with and in some cases even met their children-to-be, only to see their vision of happiness put in jeopardy. Guatemalan officials recently took action that will suspend adoptions to the United States as of Jan. 1, making the fates of couples such as the Cowens - and children such as Maria Jose - suddenly unclear.

> Last year, Guatemala was the second most popular country for Americans wanting to adopt, behind only China.

> Experts say the pending halt of a program haunted by allegations of corruption is among signs that may portend a radical reorganization of international adoption, the impact reverberating from Philadelphia to the Philippines, South Jersey to South Korea. Since 1990, Guatemala has sent nearly 25,000 children to U.S. homes, joining China and Russia as one of the "big three," together accounting for two-thirds of foreign adoptions.

> "The future of Guatemalan adoptions is totally up in the air," said Deborah Cohen, program coordinator for Adoptions from the Heart, an agency based in Wynnewood.

> The controversy arises from Guatemala's decision to join the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption, an international treaty that sets standard procedures. The government announced it would stop processing adoptions to non-Hague countries - a list that includes the United States - on Jan. 1.

> Cohen estimates that 70 agency families, most of whom live in the Northeast, are caught in limbo. Some have made several trips to Central America to spend time with the children as their paperwork inched forward.

> Guatemalan adoption "needed reform, and it needed change," said Tom DiFilipo, chief executive officer of the Virginia-based Joint Council on International Children's Services. But the potential harm of a closure accrues not just to couples seeking children. Without funds from U.S. parents, he said, it is unclear how basic care will be provided to babies relinquished by their birth parents.

> "It's a nightmare," he said. "What's going to happen to those kids?"

> In Guatemala, grinding poverty and the stigma of unwed motherhood lead some mothers to surrender babies, often to a lawyer or an adoption agency that places the children in orphanages or foster homes. Couples in this country work with U.S. adoption agencies, which in turn work with Guatemalan lawyers.

> For years, the United States has pushed the Guatemalan government to improve its oversight, concerned that some mothers were being threatened or bribed into giving up their babies. Now the Guatemalan Congress' passage of Hague Convention legislation unsettles the lives of people such as Meghan and Michael Wall of East Falls. They were matched with a son in April, flew to meet him in August, and expected to travel to adopt him in November.

> "I have good days and bad days," Meghan Wall said. "I'm trying to stay very hopeful that in the long haul we're going to be parenting him."

> The boy's name, Eddy, was bestowed by his birth mother. The Walls like how the name sounds in English and is spelled like the swirling current in a stream. Last month, Eddy turned 10 months old.

> For the Walls, the five days in a Guatemala City hotel now seem idyllic - feeding Eddy, sleeping by him, taking him to the pool. The thought of losing him is not only heartbreaking but maddening.

> As required, Eddy's birth mother took a DNA test to prove parenthood, and thus her right to surrender her child. A second test to reconfirm the child's identity is required before the adoption can be final.

> "I'm sure there have been cases of exploitation and coercion," said Meghan Wall, who teaches dance at Princeton University. "But I'm sure that's the exception and not the rule, and it's being made out to be the rule."

> Prospective parents have been bombarding congressmen with calls and e-mails, while agencies such as the Joint Council are beseeching the Guatemalan government to let adoptions that are under way proceed to completion.

> The Guatemalan Congress is reviewing an amendment to allow that. But advocates do not know if the amendment will pass - and if it does, how the government will define "under way." A final vote is expected this month.

> The United States signed onto the Hague Convention in 1994 but has yet to officially join, a delay attributed to bureaucratic sluggishness and complaints from social-service providers about certain provisions.

> Meanwhile, the atmosphere has turned ugly. Last month, Guatemalan Vice President Eduardo Stein angered parents in his country with an essay alleging that children were being stolen for their internal organs, reviving rumors about the intentions of U.S. parents.

> Many agencies, DiFilipo said, have now advised families against traveling to Guatemala to see a child. "It's not safe," he said.

> But it is far. So why do couples go all the way to Guatemala - or China, or Kazakhstan, or Nepal, or Vietnam - instead of adopting youngsters in this country?

> The answer is that not many babies are available, and the competition for them is fierce.

> During the last 30 years, the stigma of single-motherhood has faded, while access to birth-control and abortion has grown. As a result, far fewer U.S. babies are placed for adoption. Traditional adoptions now number only about 13,000 annually, down from 89,000 in the mid-1970s.

> That scarcity, together with changing attitudes about race and multiculturalism, has driven the market overseas, particularly to China, Russia and Guatemala. Last year, those countries completed 14,334 of the 20,679 foreign adoptions to the United States.

> But experts think a fundamental restructuring in the multimillion-dollar industry may be near, with the three leading nations shrinking or surrendering their roles and smaller countries stepping up.

> This year China approved stringent regulations that seem sure to reduce adoptions. Russia emerged from a moratorium with a new emphasis on domestic adoption. Now, Guatemala is poised for a stoppage.

> Meanwhile, African countries including Ethiopia and Liberia have been increasing their adoptions, although their overall numbers are small.

> "How it's going to play out, nobody knows," said Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute in New York. "As long as there's poverty and war, kids will need homes. But where those kids are, where they go - those things are changing."

> For the Guatemala 5,000 - a club nobody wants to belong to - change is wrenching.

> Bill and Roseanne Cowen find themselves constantly thinking of Maria Jose. "Since the first time I saw pictures of her, the process has been on my mind day and night," Bill Cowen said.

> The Newtown couple longs to see her in person, but for now their agency has advised against a trip.

> "I'm trying to stay positive and focused for my child," Rosanne Cowen said. "I feel I owe her that. I don't feel like I have the luxury to fall apart."

>


Contact staff writer Jeff Gammage at 610-313-8110 or jgammage@phillynews.com.

 
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Tags:Technorati Adoption by Country, guatemala adoption
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October 15, 2007

When do children really understand what "Adoption" means?

 

Today most Scientists & Adoption Agents are of the opinion that parents should inform their adopted children as soon as possible about their status. The issue should thereafter be discussed more often at various points in time to give the child/children a chance to grasp their special status and the opportunity to ask questions. Only an early introduction to the subject will give parents and children a chance to develop an open and trusting relationship between each other.

 

There are two sides to the process of informing a child about it's adoptive status: First of all the information has to be passed on to the child and secondly the child has to understand the information it has been given.

It is more than likely that a 4 year old child can be made to refer to itself as "adopted" and further tell that it has grown in another woman's womb before being adopted by it's present parents. This however does not go to say that the child has understood what an adoption really means. More so it has to be assumed that due to the child's use of very specific vocabulary related to the issue of adoption the parents are lured into the false belief that their child fully understands the concept of adoption. By doing so, the cognitive capability of a small child is highly overestimated. It takes approximately 10 years for an adopted child to fully grasp the information about its adoption which they have been given at the age of 3 or 4. This knowledge was the result of the scientific research by BRODZINSKY and his colleagues during the "Rutgers Adoption Project" (1986). The scientists examined 100 adopted children in comparison to 100 non-adopted children. There were 20 children in each age group: 4-5 years old, 6-7 years old, 8-9 years old, 10-11 years old and 12-13 years old. All adoptive children were adopted within the first 2 ? years of their life. Their understanding of the adoption was evaluated on the basis of a 6 grade chart.

 

Although the 4-5 year old children had all been informed about their adoption most of them did not have any understanding of the meaning of an adoption (grade 0). At an average age of 5 years and 6 months most examined children either assumed that all children in general were born to their biological parents or that adoption and giving birth are the same (grade 1). At the age of 7 years and 2 months children could distinguish between adoption and birth. They viewed it as 2 different means of becoming a part of a family. The relationship between the adoptive parents and the child was described by the children to be a permanent one. However they could not articulate a reason for the permanence of this relationship other than voicing the assumption that "The child is now owned by its adoptive parents" (grade 2).

 

At an average age of 8 years and 8 months the children were not so confident about the stability of the Parent-Child Relationship anymore. They believed that their biological parents would either claim them back one day or that their adoptive parents could also decide to give them away at some point in time (grade 3). At 10 years and 4 months of age the children were confident in the lastingness of the relationship between adoptive parents and child again. With regards to this newly found confidence they even referred to professionals in a position of authority such as Judges, Lawyers & Medical Doctors (grade 4). It was not until the average age of 12 years and 5 months that the adopted children understood that an adoption on a legal basis of specific laws incorporated the transfer of parental rights and duties from the biological parents to the adoptive parents (Grade 5).

The adopted children were aware of an Adoption Agency being involved in their adoption at an average age of 8 years and 1 month but did not know the actual task of the Agency. Approximately 10 months later they understood that this organisation plays a vital role in the process. In most cases the first assumption was that the Agency's purpose was to cater to the wishes of the future adoptive parents. Once at an average age of 11 years and 11 months the adoptive children understood that the Agency first and foremost acts on behalf and in the interest of the well being of the children put up for adoption, therefore screening the potential adoptive parents.

 

Brodzinsky and his colleagues research clearly shows that the understanding of an adoptive child with reference to its adoption develops in predictable phases. In the beginning the knowledge is still very general and slightly diffuse but becomes more sophisticated with time. This knowledge is also associated with a growing awareness of the connection with social organisations and the relating laws.

 

The research indicates how difficult it must be for a child under the age of 13 or 14 to process the fact of having a dual set of parents. Younger children don't grasp this concept at all, slightly older children find it hard to fit the characteristics of adoptive parents into their idea of a family concept. Eight and nine year olds know that parents and children are blood related. Adoptive children of this particular age group therefore question which family they are really part of - their biological parents or their adoptive parents. Bearing in mind that children of this age group (8-9 year olds) have not yet understood the concept of adoption including all its implications it is not surprising that they feel insecure of their position within the adoptive family and voice a lot of questions regarding their heritage. During a further examination of 156 adopted children aged 6-11 years old Brodzinsky and his colleagues (1986) found out that a child's comprehension of its adoption is neither influenced by structure of the adoptive family (only child, biological siblings, adopted siblings), their social status, the previous history of the child nor its age or condition of health at the time of adoption. This means that the comprehension develops through an intra psychological process by combining the newly received information with other relevant knowledge of family structure, social institutions, human motives, separation, loss, - etc. This Process is therefore imbedded in the overall cognitive development of the child.

 

The results of this research clearly show that parents and adoption agents generally expect the adoptive children to understand the process of an adoption too early. In return they are surprised when primary school children ask a lot of questions regarding their biological parents and their heritage, the reasons for being put up for adoption as well as being insecure in terms of their adoptive parents love and sometimes show signs of sadness and depression. Parents and experts do not understand these behavioural patterns and often wrongly judge it as negative although it is quite normal, age appropriate and probably inevitable. It is a sign that the children are trying to achieve a better understanding of the adoption. In order to do so they have to process the loss of their biological parents and the resulting emotions (sadness) at this age. This is being complicated by the lack of knowledge about their biological parents.

Consequently it is vital that adoptive parents make themselves aware of the fact that adopted children will comprehend the adoption with all its implications not until they have entered their second decade of life. They (adoptive parents ) can help the child to achieve a positive and extensive comprehension of the adoption by openly and honestly discussing the issue instead of avoiding it. It is equally important that they are also aware of the difference between adoptive families and biological families further understanding the special status of their own family. Primarily they should not overstrain the child and confront it with unrealistic expectations but should give the child the time it needs for the long lasting cognitive development process which will conclude in a full comprehension of the adoption.

About the Author

Jeff Conrad himself was a adopted child.
He wants to give you the best and most comprehensive information about adopting children from all over the world.
www.international-adoption-site.info

Tags:Technorati adoption agency, Adoption General Information
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