The adoption triad consists of the children who are adopted, birth mothers and fathers and adoptive parents. Even if these three groups never meet together, their lives are bound to one another through adoption. The children are connected to both sets of parents, and the birth parents and adoptive parents are connected to each other through the children. There are joys and sorrows for everyone joined to adoption. Birth parents may miss the child they created, but may also be comforted that the child is being well cared for and loved in her new home. Adoptive parents may be concerned that the child will feel the loss of her biological parents but may be happy to love, care and raise the child. The child may wonder about her biological parents but may cherish and love her adoptive parents. These thoughts and feelings are complicated, complex and lifelong, and are dealt with more easily by some people while others may struggle with them. Each adoption is unique and so is the adjustment to it. But, with love and support, most adoptions are successful at creating loving and stable environments in which children blossom.

Not all adoptions are successful and some people are opposed to adoption, but those who support adoption recognize it as a way to provide children with a safe, stable, and loving home environment. If you are considering adoption, you probably already know some of the challenges. Our society sends mixed messages about adoption. On one hand, you have probably seen or heard public service announcements that talk about how precious adoption can be; what a difference you can make in a child's life. On the other hand, you will see movies or news stories where an adopted child has been in trouble or an adoption was done illegally. Of course, this happens. But, biological children also do horrible things and biological parents sometimes do horrible things to their children. Your decision to adopt should be about your family. Do you want to parent a child and are you willing and able to face the challenges that being an adoptive parent may bring?

These are a couple of very difficult questions that must be answered prior to beginning the adoption process. With the possibility of becoming adoptive parents, there is a responsibility of the highest commitment owed the potential adpoted children. It is critical that you do extensive research on the adoption process, so you can determine if it is truly an experience you can manage. The children must not be given false hope. At this point in their lives, they need and deserve nothing less than complete and reassuring love.

One of the main questions that adoptive parents must ask themselves is can they love a child not born to them? If you read stories and books by adoptive parents, you will find that the majority come to see themselves connected to their adopted children in ways not understood by people who think that a genetic link to their children is the essential tie. Years ago, Cybthia McFadden interviewed Barbara Walters and her adopted daughter about this very issue. Barbara Walters and her daughter were so loving and demonstrated so strongly the power of love as the key to successful parenting. The Lifetime Network had a show called Adoption Stories that profiled families' journeys through adoption. Watching these parents struggle through the adoption process and then watching these parents with their children, you could not help but be inspired. And, these families clearly loved and were loved by their adopted children.These families showed that parenting is a choice and they could easily love a child not born to them. While it might not be for everybody, for most people it is just another way to make a family.

Asking yourself these tough questions is important. For some people, the answers come easily. If you are one of those who know, you can meet a child's need for a family openly and you can help that child as he grows ( and support him if he has questions or struggles about his adoption), your next step is to find an adoption agency that can work with you to help you in this amazing journey.

Tags: Adoption Announcement, Adoption General Information

Although the decision to give up a child is always heart-wrenching, it can be a "win-win" solution to two painful problems. Adoption is a legal process that gives adoptive parents rights and aresponsibilities and the adoptive child social, legal and emotional rights as a family member.

Putting a child up for adoption allows the child?s birth mother to continue with schooling or career, and she has a chance to create a stable home life before taking on the responsibility of motherhood.

More and more adoptions are including the birth mother as a permanent part of the child?s future, which makes the decision easier for the biological parents, but may make it more difficult for the adopting parents.

Of the approximately 120,000 children that are adopted by U.S. citizens every year, about half are adopted by people who are not related to the child. The other half re by grandparents, step parents, or other family members.

Both biological and adoptive parents should carefully consider the decision. If you are thinking that adoption may be the best solution for your baby, you should decide how much contact, if any, you would like to have with your child in the future. If you would like to stay connected, find an adoption agency that specializes in open adoptions. Find out from the agency or attorney if you will be able to choose your baby?s new parents, or determine their race, age or economic status.

If you want to adopt a child, you will also need to make many difficult decisions, and take a good look at your own situation and expectations. Can you afford a child with special needs, for instance, or would you be comfortable adopting an older child from the foster care system? Some prospective parents believe an older child would bring joy to their home, but others have carefully looked at their feelings, and know they could only bond with an infant.

Parenting does require financial security and a safe, stable home. However, a child doesn't need "perfect" parents and adoption agencies don't make unreasonable requirements. You will not be automatically disqualified if you are single, divorced, parenting other children, or because you have a disability. Some adoption agencies will consider working with gay and lesbian families. You do not need to own your own home or be wealthy or highly educated.

You do need to have tons of love available. A half-ton of patience would help, too.

If you are trying to adopt an infant, especially a Caucasian infant, you may find additional restrictions because of such a high demand. If you are interested in adopting a Native American child and are not yourself a Native American, you may be disqualified. Some agencies encourage cross-race adoptions, while others do not.

Adoption agencies are located in almost every city, and some attorneys specialize in adoption law. Referrals are recommended.

Both biological and adopting parents should carefully research the adoption process before contacting an agency or an attorney. The more you know about how adoptions work, the more sure you can be of having your needs met.

Both biological and adopting parents should also consider finding a support group, so you?ll have others in your situation to talk to. This is one of the biggest decisions in your life, and it?s common to have no family members or friends who have ever made this decision. It helps relieve the stress if you join a group of people who understand exactly what you?re going through.

If you?re a teen mother, or if your pregnancy was unexpected and unplanned, adoption agencies will have many prospective parents on their waiting lists. The waiting time for adopting parents is likely to be much. Since many unwed mothers are now choosing to terminate their pregnancy or to keep the child, prospective adoptive parents can expect to wait up to two to three years.

Biological parents will probably have their medical costs paid by the adoption agency. Adopting parents may find programs that help cover the expense of adoption. The Federal Adoption Tax Credit was $10,630 in 2005. Some employers are also offering financial assistance to adopting parents. Employers may offer loans, family leave, and health benefits.

Tags: Adoption General Information, Orphans and Orphanages

How do you know if international adoption is for your family? Well, there is no perfect definition of someone who would be a good potential adoptive parent, but answering the questions will help clarify whether international child adoption is for you. It?s not for everyone.

If your reason for adopting a child, anywhere, is to rescue him or her, this is not a good enough reason. If you are adopting a child to save your marriage, know that it usually only compounds the marital problems. If you are interested in adopting a child that has a certain IQ or learning capacity, no adoption is not for you.

But if you have a warm and mature love for children and have the desire and flexibility to love, accept, and raise a child not born to you, international child adoption could be you. If you are interested in making a family, which would include an infant, toddler, or alder child, then international adoption is a viable option. If you are interested in giving a future to a child who otherwise might not have one, international adoption could be for you.

If you think international adoption is hard or near impossible, just think of this: close to ten thousand children born outside of the United States are adopted each year by U.S. families. The annual number has been relatively stable for years, hovering between 9,800 and 11,500 adoptions.

That number will rise and while it won?t skyrocket, international adoption will continue to grow ? slowly ? and become more common. It?s not as difficult to do as it used to be; more countries now have the mechanism to place abandoned children with families that want them, and our increasingly diverse society is more receptive to children who are from different countries.

Orphanages worldwide are filled with children who need parents. There are at least 700,000 in orphanages in former Communist countries that need adoptive families. These figures do not include the enormous numbers of children in Asian or Latin American orphanages.

There is a tremendous need for International adoptions and whilst it may not be the panacea for all child welfare needs it certainly does assist on a great number of instances.

Hopefully the increased and raised profile International Adoption has had recently through the current set of adoptions by the Rich and Famous will have some positive effect and keep this much needed aspect of Social Child welfare in the public eye.

Tags: Adoption by Country, international adoption

 

Hardly a day seems to pass by nowadays without some emissary and entourage from a well-heeled location somewhere in the west jetting off to some third world country and returning days later having effectively bought themselves a shining bright new baby. These actions in themselves has in a rather brutal way highlighted one of the great iniquities of modern life

It is hard not to view these incidents as just this year's fashion statement on behalf of the rich and famous.

Last year it was "let's all campaign against the brutality of hunting animals for their fur" and this year it's a case of lets take our obscene amounts of money and go and buy a baby from Africa.

There are several issues on different levels here and on one hand we have to accept that it is every child's right to live in a happy, stable and loving family unit where possible, a right that is sadly all too lacking for about 95 percent of the worlds children. On the other hand you have to accept that in some cases money isn't necessarily the Universal Panacea for the World ills that we sometimes believe it to be.

More often than not there is an upsurge in this sort of activity right after some natural disaster of almost biblical proportions has wiped out either entire coastlines or communities built out of brick living on some geophysical fault line somewhere have suffered a massive earthquake.

In itself there is nothing wrong with this supposed outpouring of communal generosity but sometimes you have to try and view these activities from the other side to obtain a better rounded picture of what is exactly the best course of action to take here.

Adoption experts say the best thing people can do is to donate money to causes that directly help the children. They say it's wrong to take a traumatized child away from the environment that they have grown up in. "Adoptions, especially inter-country ones, are inappropriate during the emergency phase as children are better placed being cared for by their wider families and the communities they know," said the charity Save the Children in a statement released Jan. 6, 2005. International Adoption needs to be well planned "The last thing they need to do is be rushed away to some foreign land," said Cory Barron of Children's Hope International, an American adoption agency. "We have to think of the child first."

Perhaps that is the problem with so many designer International Adoptions nowadays - the parties involved don't necessarily think of the interests of the child first rather a case of satisfying the maternal longings of people who should know better and most cases don't.

Perhaps now would be a good time to start to implement and effect that change.

About the Author

Stephen Morgan writes regularly on social matters and is editor of http://www.adoptionusa.info http://www.internationaladoptioninformation.com and http://www.internationaladoptionusa.info

Tags: Adoption by Country, Interacial Adoption, international adoption

 

In the last 20 years there has been a steady, sizable increase in the number of single-parent adoptions. Why would a successful, independent single man or woman want to give up his or her freedom and assume the responsibilities of raising a child? The desire to nurture and to share life as a family is a strong universal need that is felt by a large number of people and one that is not exclusive to married people or couples.

A number of factors have encouraged the acceptance of single-parent families. Perhaps most is the growing number of one-parent households due to divorce and to unmarried women having and keeping their children. With so many children living in this type of home environment, adoption agencies have been more willing to consider unmarried men and women as prospective adopters. And the latest research indicates that children raised in single adoptive parent families compare favorably with other adopted children and show a healthy involvement with friends and family as well as in the activities of their age group.

Despite the greater acceptance of single-parent adoption, the traditional view of parenting, that a child needs a mother and a father for healthy growth and development, still exists. Mental health experts say that the "ideal" is to place a child in a two-parent home with a mother and father who are compatible and loving. However, there are many children for whom this "ideal" is not possible and many single people who feel that such bias is unfair.

Your family and friends may be your first hurdle. They may not understand why anyone would assume the responsibility for raising a child alone. They may ask if you have lost your senses. It may or may not be possible for you to convince them that you know what you are doing.

Agencies have varying policies in dealing with single applicants. Some don't accept them at all. Others may put your application and request for a home study (a family assessment) on the back burner while waiting to find a couple who wants to adopt. The children offered to you may have disabilities that you cannot handle, or be 12 years old when you requested a toddler. If you pursue independent adoption (a path to adoption with no agency involvement), birth mothers may balk when they learn you are single.

Single men face even tougher scrutiny as they are asked intimate questions about their sexuality, motives, friends, and living arrangements. They may be qualified to parent and still be turned down.

Going at it alone is not easy. Adoptive parents and agencies, in preparing prospective adoptive parents, stress the importance of having friends and family who can lend support and serve as a backup system. It will also help if you can demonstrate to a potential adoption agency that you have thought through some of the long-term implications of being a single adoptive parent. For example, if you have evaluated your financial situation thoroughly before going to an agency, and can present a realistic picture of how you plan to provide for a child over the years, they will see how serious and stable you are.

As you approach agencies and other adoption resources, you have to believe in yourself. The process may not be a smooth one and you may have some doors closed to you. But as one successful adopter put it, "You have to believe that there is a child somewhere in the world waiting for you." Your determination and assertiveness can make your dream come true.

About the Author

Frederic Lampard is the owner of a baby adoption website - visit now.

Tags: Adoption General Information